Love Means Choosing
by kawaiimakara
Summary: Elizabeth moves to Sacramento, and finds she's moved in next to the comedy duo Smosh. When her boyfriend, Ev, arrives, tensions rise, and Elizabeth learns that love inevitably means choosing.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

I shifted from foot to foot nervously, watching the different faces fly by as the crowds headed to their destinations. I searched the sign above me, waiting for my flight to show up. A few minutes passed, and the neon sign lit up with another flight and gate.

SACRAMENTO- GATE 4B

I hurried to pick up my bag and move in the right direction as others started to move to go the same direction. The stress inducing day made everything oversaturated with colors and noise, so I kept focused on my destination. I nearly ran the whole way, just wanting to get on the plane and arrive in Sacramento already. I was one of the first people there, but it didn't matter that much… I would have to wait a long time to even be boarded. So I popped one earbud in and kept my iPod on low volume to try to lessen the stress and pass the time. As the sound of my favorite comedy duo, Smosh, filled my head, I sighed in relief, tapping my foot to the quirky music. I finally boarded and prepared myself as the bored flight attendants instructed me. Staring out the small window beside me, I ponderewd my situation.  
>I was moving to Sacramento, one of the cities I've always wanted to go to. My boyfriend would be there later, but he was wrapping things up back in Vermont. He had always lived in Montpilier, so I didn't expect him to ake California in very well. I was fine with my exposure to Columbus Ohio through my childhood and New York City through my college years. But we expected to have an interesting time. As the plane left the ground, pushing me back into my seat, I drifted off, dreaming of all the scenarios we might encounter in California.<p>

Standing in front of the white house on a suburban street, I gazed around, memorizing my new neighborhood. Leaving the rental car in the driveway, I pulled my bags out of the trunk and tried to juggle them all as I fiddled with the new door key. I heard the neighbor's door open and shut, but I ignored it. The key was stuck, and I couldn't turn it without making everything fall to the ground. Suddenly, by bags seemed to vanish, although I still felt their straps on my arms. I looked up, surprised, and started to blush furiously as I saw my new neighbors. Two male faces were smiling at me, the shorter one was introducing themselves and offering their help, but I already had their names memorized in my heart. I stuttered a quick yes and thank you as the two men lifted my bags into their arms. The lock clicked and I stumbled into my new house, red as a tomato, and Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox followed me in with my bags.  
>I turned around and put my hands out for the bags, but they ignored me and went to put them down in the living room just down the hall. As they passed, I heard Anthony chuckle a bit. I blushed even more as I realized he probably saw my Smosh hoodie I was wearing. I shuffled into the living room and plopped my purse onto the kitchen counter and watched them put my bags down. I was ready to wake up. But I didn't so when they saw me all red and embarrassed, they couldn't help but smile at me. I finally said something.<br>"Well, thanks for helping you guys." I said, trying to keep my voice even and calm. I stuck my hand out towards them. "I'm Elizabeth, by the way. Elizabeth Forenzio. But you can call me Eliza."  
>As Ian reached forward and shook my hand, my heart did a mini flip-flop of excitement. Then Anthony did, and I nearly squealed. They were both gorgeous men, and I wanted to sigh dreamily just looking at pictures at them on the internet. But here they were, alive and in the flesh, and I was feeling extremely self-conscious in my Smosh hoodie. We stood there awkwardly for a bit, my heart pounding, still waiting to wake up. Ian surprised me by nudging me in the side with his elbow teasingly. "So, where're you from?" He asked, trying to make me feel a little bit more comfortable. For a second I couldn't remember, but I finally did. "Well, I'm coming from Vermont with my boyfriend, but I grew up in Columbus, Ohio and went to college in Manhattan." Anthony raised his eyebrows. "Wow, that's quite a living resume." He joked, flashing a smile at me, making me melt on the inside in ways not even imaginable. I smiled back, nervously, and they both relaxed visibly.<br>"Well, if you even need help, you can talk to us, okay?" Anthony told me with a smile. Ian nodded and grabbed my phone, which I had set on the counter.  
>"Here is my number…" He said, tapping away on the smartphone. He then handed the phone to Anthony, who did the same. I was still expecting to wake up, so when they handed me their phones for me to put my number in, I forgot my number for a split second, but tapped it in super-fast to make up for it. I walked with them to the door, and just as they were about to leave, Ian whirled around and grabbed my arm. "Wait a second!" He exclaimed. I jumped at the sudden movement and shout, and Anthony snickered at us. "Anthony, we should get her something to eat!" Ian said, looking at him. Anthony nodded and looked at me. "Well? We'll take you to get some dinner, and show you around a bit! Are you okay with that?"<br>I was jumping for joy inside, realizing that I was going to spend at least an hour with my two idols. But I remained calm on the outside, and elicited only a grin. "Sure, I'd love that! I'll just go grab my purse." As I half skipped, half walked back into the living room, I couldn't help but glance back at them. Ian was smiling at me, hand in his pockets casually. Anthony had his weight shifted onto one leg, and one arm across his chest and tucked under the other one. He was stroking his bottom lip with his thumb thoughtfully, and he almost seemed to be seeing right through me. When I came back with my purse and phone, he came back to normal and smiled at me.  
>And so my first day living in Sacramento was one of the best days of my life.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

My clock woke me up, screaming for me to get my butt out of bed and start the new day. Pulling a shirt over my head and pulling on athletic shorts, I shuffled into the kitchen to start some wake-up coffee. But I realized I had forgotten to buy coffee when Ian and Anthony had taken me to the store. Sighing, I went back into my room to stare at my face and decide what I wanted to do with it before I went out to buy some coffee. Whilst tugging my hairbrush through my hair, sighing at how my red highlights were starting to fade, my phone buzzed. I picked up, still groggy, and read the text. If was from my boyfriend, Ev.  
>"Hey sweetie, things are nearly finished up here, my flight is in a few days!" I sighed happily, remembering how whenever we met after being apart for a while, he would hug me in a way that made me lose my breath… and not because he was squeezing it out of me. I tapped a quick reply and sent the message wooshing to Vermont. I then turned my attention back to the girl staring at me from the mirror, tugging at the end of her well-worn triforce shirt. I shrugged and pulled my Uggs on my feet, then shuffled into the bathroom to swipe on some concealer and mascara. Grabbing my purse, I left the house and went to my rental in the driveway. I had set my alarm for 10, and it was too sunny already. I fumbled with the keys as I blinked sleep out of my eyes, and I heard a "Hey, Elizabeth!" I looked up to see Ian coming from the mailboxes that I've seen in so many videos. He was smiling at me, and his adorable face just made me grin back even more genuinely. He was too sweet to be grumpy with, even though it was too bright and early.<br>"Hey Ian, whatcha doing up at this ungodly hour?" I teased him. I added, "Also, call me Eliza. " He winked and then shrugged, waving a few envelopes in the air. "I wanted to get the bills done before filming tomorrow, so why not get a head start?" I laughed as it really sank in- I lived next to Smosh. I would be next-door to them when they made their videos. It took all my self-control to not jump and squeal. Instead I nodded with a "Oh, cool… Is Anthony still sleeping?" I couldn't help but adding. Ian grinned impishly, his blue eyes sparkling.  
>"Yup, he's a lazy butt. There's no helping it, though… He has some things in his room that could easily be used for dire purposes if I try to get him up too early." I giggled, and glanced at their house, imagining Anthony snoozing inside with his Pikachu. I giggled again at the image.<br>After and awkward silence, Ian moved towards his house. "Well, I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing, then." He said with a wave. Laughing, I said "I was only going to go to Starbucks and get some coffee. Do you want to come?" I couldn't stop the words from coming. I bit my lip, thinking Ian would give me a weird look. He seemed fine with it, though. "Nah, I'm not a coffee drinker." He said, shrugging. "Oh, ok. Well, bye!" I said, trying to skate over the awkwardness. Ian smiled and waved as I got in the car and started the engine. As I pulled out, I watched him go in the house, sighing ever so slightly. Then I remembered Ev and berated myself for my intense fangirl love for Smosh… It had threatened our relationship once, and I didn't want it to happen again, not even living next to them. I distracted myself from the mixed thoughts by trying to figure out a way to a nearby Starbucks. I ended up using my phone, which I snorted at myself for, because it proved how technologically dependent I can be. But I arrived home happy with some ground coffee and a Chai Tea Latte.

A few days later, I was standing at the airport, waiting for Ev to arrive. I know his plane had arrived, but he was still making his way through the terminal. I crossed my legs, staring at my phone, willing the doodle to jump higher and higher. When I died, I resumed scanning the crowd for him. I eventually saw his tall form and his swept blonde hair emerge through the crowd. I saw him looking for me, so I stayed still until his eyes met mine. There was an unspoken connection, and we walked towards each other, smiling like idiots. As we neared, we broke into a simultaneous run and flew into each other's arms, laughing. His kind green eyes looked into mine, and he kissed me, softly and sweetly. I kissed him back for a few seconds, and then rested my head on his chest. "I missed you." I whispered. I he kissed the top of my head and smelled my hair, sighing. "I missed you too, Ms. Eliza." He said in a British accent, referencing Pride and Prejudice. I giggled and took his hand, squeezing it. We walked to get his bags, talking and holding hands all the while, and we drove home, happy to be in each other's company once again.  
>As we arrived home, he nodded at the house approvingly with a smile. I got out of the car and went to the trunk to get his bags. I felt his arm slip around my waist and he kissed my neck. I giggled and turned my head towards him to give his a peck on the lips. Just then, the moment was made awkward by a voice I had mainly heard from my computer.<br>"Hey Eliza, do you wanna- Oh, erm, hello." Anthony stuttered. I looked over to see Ian and Anthony standing at the end of the driveway. Ian shifted his weight a bit, obviously embarrassed. Ev breathed in sharply and his arm fell from around my waist. I looked up, fearing I already knew what this was about. His jaw was set, his eyes focused on Ian and Anthony. I knew he recognized them from the old posters on my wall, from the fight we had about them. When I looked back to Ian and Anthony, I was surprised. Ian was staring at the ground, biting his lip, whereas Anthony had straightened up and had his deep brown eyes focused on Ev. The tension between them was evident, and I was afraid of what they were trying to signal to each other. I cleared my throat, breaking the stone cold silence.  
>"Hey guys." I said. "Ian, Anthony, meet my boyfriend, Ev. He just flew in from Vermont." Ian glanced at the big duffel bags sullenly, and Anthony snorted.<br>"What kind of a name is Ev? For Evangeline?" he said derisively. I was about to answer when Ev stepped in front of me, almost protectively.  
>"It's short for Evan, but my sister was in fact named Evangeline. We called her Evan and me Ev. It's been that way forever, even though she died in a car accident 4 years ago." His voice was cold and icy, accusatory. I flinched, knowing how much it hurt for him to talk about his little sister. Ian swept his fingers through his hair, flinching also, and Anthony took a half step back. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know." He said, voice wavering the tiniest bit. I stepped between the guys, holding my hands up.<br>"Would you guys relax? Ev, Anthony didn't know, and Anthony, I would rather you not treat my boyfriend that way." Both guys looked down, embarrassed at my chastisement, but I ignored that. "Now, what were you asking Anthony?"  
>Anthony looked up, cheeks a little flushed with embarrassment. It was cute, and I hated myself for thinking so. "We wanted to know if you wanted to be in an Ian is Bored, or Lunchtime with Smosh sometime." He said. His voice was smaller than usual, and I felt bad for the situation, even though I really had no control over it.<br>"Sure, that would be fun!" I said, trying to remain mature. Of course the fangirl got the better of me a bit and I was grinning foolishly, glad that only ian and Anthony could see it. I didn't want to worry Ev. Ian looked up, eyes shining.  
>"You mean it? We'd love our audience to meet our new cool neighbor." He said, but quickly looked back at the ground. Ev must be furious, but I pushed the thought away and gave Ian and Anthony each a quick hug. The duo relaxed, but I was absolutely positive now that I had pissed Ev off.<br>"Of course I mean it. Text me when you know what you want me to do." I said, smiling at them. They grinned back at me as I shooed them away, and I swore I saw Ian do a mini fist-pump. But I still had Ev to face about this.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

I found the Ev had gone inside while I had been shooing Ian and Anthony away. I picked up the bag I had put down, locked the car, and went inside. I felt like I was preparing for the wrath of a dragon, because I was afraid we'd be having the same kind of fight we did back in Vermont over my love of Smosh. I found him steaming on the couch, tapping his phone.  
>"Hey," I ventured, "You okay?" he looked up at me and smiled a sugary sweet smile.<br>"Of course, sweetie, everything is dandy." His voice was quiet and powerful, not good. That was his mad voice, the one-misstep-and-I'll-blow-up voice. I sighed and sat down next to him, looking earnestly into his eyes. "Ev, what is bothering you about this?" I said, knowing full well what was bothering him, but not wanting to make assuptions. He ran his fingers through his hair angrily, sighing with frustration.  
>"Why didn't you tell me that we were living next to them?" He said quietly again. He hadn't blown up yet.<br>"Because I didn't think it was a big deal."  
>"Not a- really, Elizabeth? Not a big deal?" he said angrily; I knew I was in dangerous territory know. "Do you not remember the fight we had just 8 months ago over the exact same men, and how much you loved them?"<br>"Ev, listen to me. That is all I have remembered since I found out that they were the neighbors too. But I thought that you would be able to be mature enough to see that this isn't the same situation!" I said, going passive aggressive. Ev set his jaw, staring outside the window facing the neighbor's house. Smosh's house.  
>"You're right. It's not the same situation. This time, we're living right next to them, and I don't think it would be hard for you to, well, <em>seduce<em> them or something!"  
>"<em>Seduce them<em>? Ev, I would never do that! Before I had you, yes, I fantasized about them. I hardly knew any girl who _didn't_. But I love _you_, not them. I want to kiss _you_ and have some meaning from it, not _them_." I said, exasperated. Ev chuckled darkly.  
>"You had that same argument last time, yet you took a long time to change. I don't think that will be possible now that we're not in the opposite side of the country anymore."<br>"Ev, please trust me with this. I would never leave you because we moved in next to my two idols. I _promise_, I will stay with you, and only you."  
>But I was afraid of making that promise. I saw the way Anthony and Ev stared each other down. I knew what it meant. And it meant that my decisions were going to get a lot harder, and my promises so much harder to keep. Ev seemed to sense that, and he looked me straight in the eyes.<br>"Prove it." He whispered.  
>I looked deep into his green eyes, deep into the gold flecks I knew so well. I put one of my hands on his neck and leaned in until our noses were nearly touching. I tilted my head to the side and closed my eyes once I saw his close. But I stopped with my lips millimeters from touching his.<br>"You know that I shouldn't be rewarding you for behaving so immaturely." I whispered, smiling. I heard him chuckle. "That was what I needed to hear. I love you, Ms. Eliza." He said.  
>"And I love you, Mr. Darcy." I teased him. I felt him smiling as he moved across the millimeters of space separating us and kissed me. I don't know how long we sat there kissing, but I do know one thing:<p>

I didn't think of Ian or Anthony once.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The next morning, when I woke in Ev's arms, it felt like I was back in Vermont. But when I looked up at the window and saw a remarkable lack of trees, I remembered that I was in California. And I remembered Ian and Anthony.  
>I got up slowly, not waking Ev, and got dressed in jeans and a tank-top. Picking up my phone, I saw a new text message, from Anthony, five minutes ago.<br>"Hey, can you come over to talk for a bit?"  
>I bit my lip and looked over at Ev, still sleeping soundly. I responded,<br>"Sure be right there."

I knocked softly on the door, not wanting to wake Ian if he was still asleep. Turns out, he was awake anyway. It was 6:57.  
>"Hey." I said as he let me in.<br>"Hey, why are you over here?"  
>"Anthony texted me, he wants to talk."<br>Ian looked for a second like he knew what Anthony was going to say, but it disappeared before I could tell for sure. "He's in his room dozing a bit. If you guys want to come out to the living room, I'll be in the office, so you can talk alone." He said slowly. I smiled and gave him a quick hug.  
>"Thanks, Ian. You're so sweet." I said. I felt myself blushing because I remembered all of my dreams where I had hugged Ian, before I was in Sacramento. I blushed and quickly walked to find Anthony.<br>I pushed the door to his room open slowly, not wanting to wake him, but then I realized that was why I was here. He shifted a little when the door shut, and hugged his Pikachu tighter. I smiled at how young he looked when he was asleep, yet how mature he looked. His sweatpants were low on his hips, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. I felt my pulse quicken as I sat down next to him, then berated myself for thinking about how adorably hot he looked. I couldn't help myself, so I swept his dark beautiful hair out of his eyes, which opened sleepily. Caught in the act, all I could do was smile sheepishly and finish the job. He smiled when he saw me, and shifted onto his back, stretching. Keeping my eyes focused on his face, not body, I said "You wanted to talk… Should I let you sleep?" He grasped my hand and sat up, shaking his head. "No, I want to get this over with." I nodded and pulled my feet up onto the bed and sat cross-legged, facing Anthony. He rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes and sighed, then turned towards me and crossed his legs too. He smiled, and my heart melted around the edges. But I kept my composure and smiled back. He ran his fingers through his hair and stared at his toes.  
>"Well, I want to say I'm sorry for yesterday, to start." He said. I smiled at him.<br>"Apology accepted." I said, nodding. He looked relieved.  
>"Well, the next thing… isn't so easy to explain."<br>"I won't judge you, it's fine." I said helpfully.  
>"No, no… it's just that, I haven't quite figured it out myself. It's hard to grasp with words." He said, looking anywhere but my face.<br>"Well, don't use words then."  
>Anthony looked into my eyes, brown on brown, and suddenly leaned forwards and hugged me. It was a tight, possessive hug, and it lasted for some time. I hugged back in the beginning, but then I started to wonder when it would end. I finally pried his arms from around me and slowly pushed him back so I could see his face.<br>It was streaked with tears.  
>"Anthony, what's wrong?" I gasped softly. I took my thumb and wiped the tears away, but Anthony took my hand in his own.<br>"I can't do this, Eliza." He said, softly. "You don't deserve this, I don't deserve this… I can't control it anymore!" I stared at him, shocked, for a few seconds. Then, once I regained my composure, I tried to comfort him.  
>"Hey, Anthony, it's ok. Everything's going to be fine, you'll see." When that only succeeded in making it worse, I crawled over next to him and put my arm around him. He leaned his head on my shoulder thankfully, his arm snaking around my waist to hug me.<br>"You- You don't understand what I mean, do you?" he said, slowly, raising his head from my shoulder. I crinkled my face a bit, tilting it to the side. Anthony sighed, and seemed to brace himself for something.  
>"Let me explain." He said, and then he kissed me. It was unexpected, it was fast, but it seemed to convey all that Anthony was feeling. He was starting to really like me, that much was obvious, but he felt guilty about it. He felt guilty that he loved me, because I was already happy with a boyfriend. He pulled away just as it registered that it was his tears I tasted on his lips. He smiled smugly at me.<br>"You kissed me back." He said, matter-of-factly. I gasped, my hand flying up to my own lips.  
>"I did no such thing!" I protested, but I couldn't help but ask myself, replay the kiss, to see if I really had. I did, I realized, I really did. Tears started rolling down my face because I remembered the fight with Ev. He was right, I was in danger of leaving him. I started to sob, and Anthony looked alarmed.<br>"Eliza, what's wrong? Look, I'm sorry, I'll change…!" he said frantically, trying to comfort me. I just started to cry harder, and as he gathered me into his arms I went limp against his chest. He started to rock me, cooing to me, trying to comfort me. I eventually calmed down enough so I could respond.  
>"Anthony, it's not your fault… its just… Ev and I, we had a very big… <em>Argument<em>, over you and Ian a while ago. " I finally got out through the hiccups. Anthony looked confused. "What do you mean?" He asked, tightening his arm around me. I sighed and sat back a little, opening the flood gates to that part of my mind. The emotions overwhelmed me at first, and after more tears rolled down my face and I hiccupped a few times, I began to recount what happened.  
>"Well… I was a huge Smosh fan since the beginning. I watched all your videos, spent hours browsing through the Smosh pit, bought merch… I was obsessed, in other words. Obsessed sounds really negative, but that what I was.<br>"I had a few boyfriends through this obsession, and none ever got too serious. But when Ev and I started dating, we became extremely close, and we realized we might truly love each other, the first person in our lives. Well, for me, it was the first person off the computer screen.  
>"I'll admit this to you now- I thought you guys were the best guys on the planet. My… <em>admirations<em> for you prevented me from getting too serious with a guy because I kept comparing them to you. I did that with Ev, too, but he was about equal to you guys. Even still, I continued to do all the things a single female Smosh fan would do. It was at that point so obsessive, I couldn't help myself but reference a Smosh video in regular conversations or talk about you and Ian. Ev started to think that I wasn't feeling the same way he was, that I didn't really want to take part in the relationship. He thought that I was too busy thinking about you to actually take the time to care about him.  
>"So we got in a big argument. I was saying that I deserved a right to be able to crush on "celebrities" if you will, and that he did the same thing about other women celebrities. His argument was that I needed to take a step back from my fantasies and realize what I had in front of me at my disposal, not be stuck in a little Smoshy world. So this went on for a long while, and… it was the worst few weeks of my life. I felt so lonely, all the time. I finally admitted that I was letting my obsession with you guys get in the way of my real life, and that the chance was extremely low that anything would happen- Ev also admitted that he was being a tad too jealous of my admiration for people that didn't even know my name. We've never fought since."<br>I was flat out crying now, looking at Anthony through my tears. "Don't you see? I _can't_ date you, Anthony! It's only been a few days of a two way relationship, and I have Ev. I'm not willing to let him go yet. I'm sorry, I have many feelings from you, but none of them can replace what I feel for Ev. I- I- I'm sorry!"  
>I suddenly lurched off the bed, wiping my tears from my cheeks with my sleeve. Anthony grabbed my wrist, holding me there, and I looked away, tears still rolling down my cheek.<br>"Eliza, it's ok. I understand you have a commitment. I promise, I won't bring this to your attention anymore." He said quietly. I looked at him, how his face was devoid of emotion. But his eyes had tears glistening in them, and I couldn't bear seeing what I had done to him by telling the truth. I gently pulled away from his grasp and left his room. Just before I shut the door, I whispered "Bye Anthony."  
>Then the door clicked shut.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Ian saw my tear streaked face as soon as I walked into the living room I had seen so many times in videos. He stood up and came over to place a hand lightly on my shoulder, a concerned knit in his brow.  
>"Eliza, what happened? Are you okay?" he asked.<br>"Ask Anthony. If he wants to tell you, he will. He can explain what I said too, but only if he explains the beginning." I said quietly. Ian nodded solemnly and searched my face. I knew I probably looked horrible, and red and swollen, but I met his gaze all the same. I gave him a quick hug, for reassurance or comfort I'm not sure, but I did it all the same. He gave me a squeeze, and I pulled away.  
>"Thanks for letting me in. You should probably go talk to Anthony." I said quietly. He nodded and moved towards the hallway. "You can let yourself out." He said, waving his hand and smiling at me. I smiled back and did as I was told.<p>

When Ev woke up, he found me sitting at our little round table cupping a mug of coffee in my hands, reading a book. He rubbed his eyes.  
>"Hey, why are you up so early?" He said, stretching. I shrugged, thinking of a cover-up.<br>"I had a nightmare earlier while you were still asleep, so I went for a walk. Now I'm warming back up." I lied smoothly. Ev seemed satisfied and kissed the top of my head. As he walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, I stared blankly at the pages of my book, _Memoirs of a Geisha._ I couldn't seem to be able to focus on Sayuri at the moment, so I sighed and closed the well-worn book. I glanced out the window at Anthony's house, and I saw them talking through the window. Ian looked quiet, more quiet than how I've ever seen him, and Anthony seemed to be spilling his guts out to him. Ian looked out his window and saw me, and I flinched. He grimaced and then smiled comfortingly, so I knew he wasn't judging me, which made me feel relieved. So I smiled back and stood, taking my book, and went into the living room.  
>I grabbed my laptop from where it was sitting on the coffee table and opened it. The screen came alive at once, but I still plugged into the outlet. I passed the time by writing a long, twisting poem that had no rhythm, pattern, or quality whatsoever. I only saved it because it was as close as I could get to explaining how I felt right now. When I finished, I looked up to see that Ev had come down to sit next to me, holding his tea and watching me. He smiled at me when we made eye contact, and he rubbed my knee comfortingly.<br>"Still thinking about the nightmare?" he asked.  
>"Not really… I feel better now that I'm awake."<br>"Do you want to talk about it?"  
>I hesitated, knowing that I could either say no, risking him not trusting me, or I could spin a lie, risking him seeing through it. I decided to spin a lie and go for a little guilt and security.<br>"Well… I had a dream that we had… another big argument. But this one was a lot worse, you ended up saying that you hated me, and wished you had _Sarah_ back…" I said. I started to feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, because it really was a scary thought. Sarah had been one of my best friends until she went behind my back and hooked up with Ev. I later realized that Ev had only done it to get closer to me, but Sarah knew very well that I like Ev at that point. It was a tumultuous week, one I hoped I wouldn't have to go through again, and just thinking about it made tears well up from the emotional scarring I got. Sarah and I were never to the same level of trust as we had been before, but we were able to get past the rift of jealousy that separated us for that week and be friends.  
>Ev seemed taken aback by my "nightmare," and he instantly reached towards me for an embrace. I shut my laptop and cuddled into him, feeling the half-real-half-fake tears rolling down my face.<br>"Ms. Eliza, I would never give you up for Sarah." He said firmly, "Besides, she's still back in Vermont. You don't have to worry about that anymore." I sniffed and nodded, pressing my nose into his chest and wrapping my arms around him like a big stuffed animal. He pulled my legs onto his lap and kept one hand on my thigh while the other rubbed my back soothingly. Being in his arms felt to comfortable, so _normal_, that it didn't take long for me to relax, even from the event with Anthony earlier that morning. We sat there and cuddled for a while, just enjoying each other's company. I finally pulled my head up and looked at him. He looked back at me, and we just smiled at each other for a few second, letting our eyes do the talking. Then Ev closed his eyes and kissed me, his arms tightening around me. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, relishing the moment and wanting more. He bit my bottom lip teasingly and pulled away, just to kiss my neck. When he was finished, I kissed his jawline and smiled at him. He smiled back at me, his gorgeous green eyes glowing softly. He placed his forehead against mine, tenderly, and whispered "I love you, Elizabeth."  
>I smiled and inched closer ever so slightly, pressing my torso to his. "And I love you, Evan."<br>Just at that moment, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Ian. I moved away off of Ev's lap and picked up my phone.  
>"Eliza please come over here now, I'm scared for Anthony."<br>"What happened?" I replied. The answer was lighting fast.  
>"He's trying to get into the knife drawer."<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

I didn't bother knocking, and just opened the door to Ian and Anthony's house silently and stepped in. I was closing the door as it stopped, and I realized Ev had followed me. We shut the door quietly and heard Ian and Anthony talking angrily in the other room.  
>"You don't know what it feels like!" Anthony was saying accusingly. I heard Ian sigh.<br>"Just because you've never heard of my problems doesn't mean I don't have them. Yes, smaller scale, but I understand what you're feeling." Anthony snorted.  
>I silently crept towards their voices. They were standing in the kitchen, Ian blocking a drawer from Anthony. Ian saw me, but Anthony didn't. I shook my head as Ian opened his mouth to say something, and he shut it. Ian glanced knowingly at Ev behind me, then returned his attention to Anthony.<br>"Anthony, you need to calm down. You're being too drastic." Ian said nervously. Anthony snorted and pulled Ian away from in front of the drawer and onto the ground. I stepped forward, alarmed.  
>"Anthony!" I said. He froze, not looking at me. He slowly turned and looked at me, and flinched when he saw Ev standing behind me.<br>"What are you doing here." He said blankly. I moved towards him slowly, locking eyes with him.  
>"Anthony, what's going on?" I asked, countering his question with my own. He sneered at me derisively.<br>"I think you know what's going on." He said mockingly. I flinched. He had never treated me like that before, and it stung to see a man I loved so much doing it. I turned and helped Ian off the floor, and noticed he had a split lip. He gave me a weak yet knowing smile.  
>"Anthony, please chill for a second. You're not yourself." I pleaded when I noticed that Anthony has holding a knife point to his skin. He laughed harshly and pressed the blade into his arm until small rivulets of blood started to seep out and onto the floor. I swayed in the spot and was caught by Ian, the sight of blood nearly making me faint. Anthony paused, because I nearly hit the floor. I was being shifted, and I was in a new pair of arms, and I recognized the way they cradled me as Ev's. I opened my eyes again and fixed them on Anthony, not looking at his arm.<br>"Anthony," I said, barely above a whisper, "please don't. You don't need to do this. We can help you. We can make it better."  
>Anthony thought for a second, and then his face twisted into an evil grin as he looked at Ev. I sat up straighter, worried about what he was thinking.<br>"Elizabeth, only you and Ian understand what happened this morning to make me feel this way. Shall I fill Ev in?" He said. Ev tensed a bit, and I could tell he didn't like the way Anthony was talking either. I closed my eyes, because if I said anything to defend myself, it would only make it worse.  
>"Ev, Elizabeth came over this morning, and we were talking in my room." Anthony said, his eyes unnaturally bright. Ev shifted so he could get up, and didn't bother helping me up, because ei couldn't quite stand yet. Instead, Ian pulled me up and circled an arm around my waist, letting me lean on him gratefully.<br>"What do you mean?" Ev said tersely. I looked at him, and he was quiet and withdrawn. Anthony smiled even more.  
>"Well, we found out that we have feelings for each other, for one thing. And not just with words, either. We let our lips do the talking too." He said. Ev looked at Anthony and I, bewilderment on his face, then a flash of harsh, stinging betrayal, then a blank mask.<br>"Oh really." He said quietly. I let out a strangled cry and lurched towards Anthony.  
>"You kissed me, mister! I had no time to react before it was over, and then I told you I was staying with Ev." I said, but the air I spent left me unable to stand on my own two feet, and I plummeted to the floor, even as Ian tried to catch me. I succeeded in hitting my head on the corner of the countertop, however, and colorful sparks exploded in front of my eyes. I saw a pool of blood, and I didn't realize it was my own until I hear Anthony and Ian gasp. I saw Anthony put the knife down as he started towards me, all maliciousness gone. The last thing I saw was Ian's crystal blue eyes, frantic, and his lips saying my name.<br>Then it faded to black.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I opened my eyes and immediately shut them again, trying to block out the intense fluorescent light that flooded a white room. I groaned, wanting it all to go away. Someone was instantly at my side.  
>"Eliza, are you awake?" It was Ian. I opened my eyes and squinted at him. He smiled and sighed, relieved. I tried to ssit up, but he held me down gently.<br>"Don't, you need to rest." He said. I looked around the room.  
>"Am I in the hospital?" I asked. He nodded. I was quiet for a few seconds, trying to remember why.<br>"Is Anthony ok? Is he here?" I said in a rush, remembering his blood dripping onto the floor.  
>"Shhh, yes, Anthony is fine. They ran some tests on him- apparently he was drunk. While I was getting some food he tried to drink his worries away, and, well, he certainly wasn't himself. But they have him on watch; he had to get 4 stitches." Ian said.<br>"Why am I here, though? I'm fine." I said, pushing his hands aside and sitting up. Before I could swing my legs out of the bed an intense pain kindled in my left temple, and the world started to tilt dangerously. Ian eased me down before I could black out, and he touched my head gently where the pain was. I winced, then reached my fingers tentatively up there too. I had a good part of my head swaddled in bandages.  
>"When you fell, you hit hour head on the corner of the counter. You got away with only 2 stitches, but you also got a concussion." Ian said quietly. He grasped my fingers and sat down with me on the bed. I looked over towards the guest chairs, which were empty.<br>"Is… is Ev here?" I asked.  
>"He went over to talk with Anthony a few minutes ago, he'll be back soon." Ian said soothingly. I flinched, because I didn't know what Ev and Anthony were going to exactly talk about. Thinking it was from pain, Ian kissed my fingertips.<br>"How long until I'm able to go?" I asked. He shrugged.  
>"Depending on how you do, tomorrow morning or a few days."<br>"How long was I out?"  
>"About 7 hours."<br>I sighed and tiled my head back to look at the ceiling. I wanted to rest.  
>"Ian?"<br>"Yeah?"  
>"Stay with me…" I thought I heard him speak and felt him kiss my forehead, but my eyes closed to fast and I couldn't open them again. So I slept.<p>

When I woke again there was nobody holding my hand. I looked over to see Ev sitting watching me in the chair, with Ian curled up sleeping in another. I smiled and Ev.  
>"Hey." I said quietly. Ev leaned forward and pressed his lips to his fingers, tersely.<br>"Hey." He said.  
>"Ian said you went over to talk with Anthony…" I ventured after a few tense seconds. Ev nodded.<br>"He explained what happened and how it was his fault." Ev said. He looked deep into my eyes.  
>"Ms. Eliza, you don't fully understand how deep you get yourself into the minds of men." He said slowly. I blinked, struggling to understand the words. How on earth could that be me? The unlikeliness of it made me giggle, but giggling made the pain flood my head. Before I could stop myself, I whimpered.<br>Ev was sitting next to me in an instant, holding my hand with one of his and tracing the contours of my face gently.  
>"It's ok, I'm here." He said, a small smile lighting up his face. I smiled back, but then started to cry, remembering the fights we had and the scale of what I had done, how it compared to what I said I wouldn't do.<br>"Ev, you must hate me now." I sobbed, burying my head in the pillow. Suddenly Ian was awake.  
>"Is everything alright?" he asked, sitting bolt upright in his chair, hair mussed up.<br>"Could you give us a minute?" Ev asked gently. Ian nodded and rose, leaving the room. He patted my leg comfortingly on the way out. Once I finished hiccupping I started to talk again.  
>"Ev, I'm so sorry. I should have told you but I thought I made it clear to Anthony that I was staying with you. I didn't know the matter would resurface and I didn't think it would have been necessary to tell you, but I should have. Ev, I'm so sorry, I don't think you'll ever be able to trust me again." I said, big fat tears rolling down my cheeks. He silently brushed them away with his thumb. Waiting for me to calm down before he spoke, he was silent.<br>"Elizabeth, I know that the situation was more than you could have handled. I am proud that you stuck by me, and it makes me an even luckier man to be chosen over a guy like Anthony." When I raised an eyebrow at that, he shrugged and said "Anthony is a good looking guy, I'll give him that. But when we were talking, he apologized profusely and explained how you were upset by his actions. He knew it was not his place. I forgive him for that, and I forgive you. The good relationships are always the rocky ones, after all." He said with a smile. I smiled back, and he kissed me softly on the lips.  
>"I love you, Ev. I'm so sorry." I whispered, my hands cupping his face. I felt him smile and peck the corner of my mouth.<br>"I'm sorry too, I need to give you some slack." He whispered back. As his lips skimmed my jawline, he whispered "I love you too, Eliza."  
>We were able to sit talking for a while after that, holding hands. He massaged the center of my palm with his thumb, relaxing me all over. Soon my visiting hours were over, and I slept dreaming of him rubbing my back as we watched snow fall back in Vermont.<p>

I was let out the nest morning, and I walked as fast as I could without pitching over to see Anthony. When I saw him lying there, tubes in his arm, the tears came out before I could stop them. As silently as I could, I sat on the hospital bed next to him and took his hand. He smiled in his sleep, and I brushed his hair out of his eyes. I sat there holding his hand until he woke up, sleepy eyes focusing on me.  
>"Hey sweetie, how ya doing?" I said, smiling. He shifted a bit and squeezed my hand.<br>"I feel… better." He said slowly, stretching his limbs. His smile fell. "Eliza, I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't ruin anything…" he said. I placed a finger on his lips before he could say any more.  
>"We worked it out, and Ev said he forgives you and I." Anthony sighed, obviously relieved, and stroked my hand with his thumb. We sat there in a companionable silence for a while, just being together. I broke the silence, even though I liked it.<br>"Anthony, We can still be friends, right? Really good friends?" I didn't like the way it came out, so I hung my head, embarrassed. But Anthony just laughed and turned my chin towards me.  
>"Of course we can. I would never give up the opportunity to be with someone like you." He said softly. I smiled and gave his hand a squeeze.<br>"When are you being released?" I asked. Anthony shrugged.  
>"I dunno, at least a week. They want to make sure that if it was some depression issue or whatever that I don't go home with suicidal thoughts again, and once I'm home I'm instructed to be quiet and rest. Ian's gonna make a vid to tell the fans, because Smosh will be paused until I can function again."<br>I bit my lip, remembering that they still had videos to make. I felt a pang of guilt, but hid it by pressing a kiss to his forehead.  
>"Well, you had better get well soon." I said, getting up to leave. Just then, the nurse came in with a checkboard.<br>"Alright, Mr. Padilla, the doctor is going to come in soon and examine you to see how you are doing, but I'm going to run some preliminary tests- Oh, Eliza, is that you?"  
>I recognized the voice, but I never thought I would hear it again. I turned around slowly on one heel, and there stood Sarah. When she saw my face, she laughed and pulled me into a hug.<br>"Oh, Elizabeth, it's been so long!" She laughed. I laughed nervously and pulled away.  
>"Yeah, it has been a while. What are you doing in Sacramento?"<br>"I was going to answer the same question to you!"  
>"Well, Ev and I wanted a change of scenery, See some different landscapes together."<br>"Oh, I see! I didn't know you and Ev were still together! Is he still as adorable as ever? Oh, how I wish I could see him again, it was so nice to hang out with him!"  
>She probably didn't mean her comment about Ev in an offensive way, but it still set my teeth on edge.<br>"Oh, I'm sure you had plenty of fun times together." I said tersely, a fake smile plastered to my face.  
>"Wait, so you guys know each other?" Anthony said. Sarah laughed.<br>"Yeah, we were best friends! We watched Smosh videos all the time, didn't we? Which reminds me, Elizabeth, how do you know Anthony?" Sarah asked. I sighed, remembering how we would fangirl over Ian and Anthony. Life certainly has it's twists and turns planned out for you.  
>"Oh, well, we're neighbors." I said, acting like it's no big deal. But Sarah's jaw still dropped.<br>"No way!" She screeched. I winced and nodded, thinking of some way to escape.  
>"Well, it was nice seeing you again Sarah, but I need to go home now, so… Bye Anthony, hope you feel better!" I pressed another kiss to his forehead and quickly exited the room, closing the foor behind me, wondering what this twist would offer up in terms of the future.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8  
>Sitting on the floor with a mug of tea and my laptop, I browsed the internet for the afternoon at home, trying to keep my mind off of what had happened with Sarah. I noticed a message from her on facebook, which I had no excuse for not replying to.<br>"_Hey Elizabeth! So you think we could meet up sometime and hang for a day?_" She had sent. I sighed, and figured out some way to respond.  
>"<em>What if we see a movie this weekend? I could bring Ev, and maybe I could get you to meet Ian.<em>" I sent the message and quickly shot Ian a text about the movies, which he responded positively to. Ev also agreed when I asked him, so I just waited for Sarah to respond once she got back online.

I went back to my youtube page, to see my feed filled with uploaded videos I have yet to watch. The newest one was about half an hour before, uploaded by smosh. I figured it was about the whole thing with pausing Smosh with Anthony, but I clicked on it anyway. After the intro that always made me smile, I saw Ian sitting in front of his computer.  
>"Hey guys." He began, strain evident in his voice. "So, we have some bad news. There was an accident and Anthony has to be in the hospital for at least a week, and we need to pause the main Smosh videos until he gets better. Don't worry, we'll still have Ian is Bored going, and will be running normally with smosh pit articles and whatnot." He ran a hand over his face, and I noticed how bloodshot his blue eyes were. "We will be keeping you guys updated via tweets and some extra blogging on my channel, but we should be back on the video making train soon!" He smiled, although I could tell it was forced. "Sorry for the disappointment, we'll be listening to you guys! Anthony sends his love from the hospital. Bye!" He tried to end cheerily. I sighed and closed the laptop, because it sunk in how stressed and worried Ian was about Anthony. Ev, who had been playing on his DS, looked up.<br>"What's wrong sweetie?" He asked.  
>"Ian is really stressed about Anthony, I wish I could help…" I said slowly. Ev stretched and looked into the distance for a bit.<br>"I have some job interviews this afternoon, you should go chill over with him. He could use some friendly company I think." He finally said. I looked at him, surprised. He gave me a wink.  
>"I know how having an important person ripped away feels like. He needs a friend." I nodded silently and cuddled into him on the couch for a few minutes.<br>"Ev, I am so glad I have you." I said. He gave me a comforting squeeze and traced some circles on my lower back.  
>"I am extremely lucky to have you, as well." He said. He shifted and we both got up, ready to leave. I kissed him, going up on tiptoes, but he ignored that and swept me up in his arms, proceeding to tickle me. I squealed and giggled into his shoulder, and he shut me up with another kiss, which I pressed into. He placed me back on my feet and chucked my chin.<br>"I love you, sweetie." He said.  
>"I love you too." I said, giving him a final peck on the lips.<p>

I stood on the sidewalk until he had pulled away out of sight, and then went to knock on Ian's door. I heard nothing for a minute, but with a shuffle the door opened and Ian let me in.  
>"Hey, how's it going?" He said.<br>"It's going good." I said, stepping in.  
>"Why am I honored with such a pleasant visit?" He said, winking.<br>"Well, you looked pretty sad and lonely in your newest video about Anthony, so I decided I wanted to come keep you company." I said. He grinned.  
>"You are so sweet Eliza." He said, pulling me into a bear hug. I patted his back until he let go.<br>"Well, I challenge you to a Mario kart race!" I said, breaking into a grin. He grinned back and charged towards the TV, pulling me along. He beat me in every race, but I refused to give up Bowser for another character. We ended up in giggles watching the replays, laughing as I failed again and again.  
>"Eliza, I'm glad you came over." He said once we turned the Wii off. I turned and gave him a big hug.<br>"I'm glad I made you happy." I said. He tickled my sides teasingly and I yelped and jumped a bit. Then his smiled slowly faded, looking at me where Anthony usually sat. I rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, not knowing anything else better to do. He pulled me into another hug, and he sat there for a while with his chin on top of my head. A few weeks ago, I never would have believed that I would be able to sit and hug Ian Hecox, or that I would have been kissed by Anthony Padilla. But life throws a whole bunch of craziness at you, and this was some craziness I did not want to let go of.  
>While I was sitting there hugging Ian, I remembered why I liked him so much when I was a fairly hard-core smosher. Hugging him was just as nice as I always dreamed it would be. I felt my cheeks flame up and slowly disentangled myself from his arms, slightly embarrassed. He chucked me under the chin good naturedly.<br>"I guess you'd better go, Ev should be done with his interview by now." He said, but I wasn't able to tell if it was sadness or something else in his voice. I pecked him on the cheek, and he brightened up a bit.  
>"I will text you tomorrow." I promised. He nodded and walked me to the door. He gave me a smile before I was gone, walking back towards my house.<br>Splashing my face with cold water and staring myself down in the bathroom mirror, I felt frustrated at myself. I(t was so hard to not feel attracted to two of my favorite men living right next door. It made me feel uneasy about my decisions, because they had been my standards for so long.  
>This whole situation was going to be a lot harder than I thought.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

_AN: Hey guys, sorry this is so late, i've had lots of things going on! I would have made this longer, but i'm trying to get a hold back on my plot and get back on track. So, here it is, enjoy! (Finally)_

CHAPTER 9

Saturday came before I could blink an eye, and before I knew it I was standing with Ev and Ian at the movie theater, keeping an eye out for Sarah. We saw her bouncing up, eyes locked on Ian, and I smiled inwardly. I must have looked like that the first day I met him, too. It is hard to not be happy seeing Ian in real life, because he's just a great guy all in all. I introduced Sarah to him, and she couldn't stop bouncing on the balls of her feet. She followed Ian around like a puppy, while I linked arms with Ev and we walked inside. I sat between Ian and Ev, and Sarah was at Ian's side chattering away. I began to realize how I must have been that first evening, and was surprised that they put up with me. Then again, they probably come face to face with this every year at Vidcon, so they have a good tolerance for fans.

We had decided on seeing the Phantom Menace in 3D, because neither Sarah nor I could handle scary movies. So we sat there giggling every time Jar-Jar came on screen, the 3D making him seem even odder than before. But we sat transfixed as lightsabers whirled on the screen and blaster shots whizzed seemingly inches from our noses. I leaned my head on Ev's shoulder, trying to keep my face calm and my eyes dry when Qui-Gon died. But my spirits soon rose back up again as we left the theater, Ian and Ev imitating Jar-Jar all the while.  
>We said goodbye to Sarah, and she hugged everyone. I didn't know for sure or not, but I think she gave Ev a longer hug than necessary, considering he was accounted for. But she was gone before I could start to judge, and I didn't want to be one of those jealous girlfriends anyway. So I drove Ev and Ian home, dropping Ian off in front of his house before we pulled into the driveway. Once we got inside, I felt his arms snake around my waist as he pressed slow kisses to my neck. I sighed as I leaned back into him, arching my neck slightly to give him better access. He turned my chin towards him with a smooth finger and started to kiss me on my lips, which I responded positively to, kissing back aggressively. I felt him smile as he responded in turn, and somehow I ended up sitting on the counter with my legs wrapped around his waist and my fingers tangled in his hair. One of his hands was spread across the small of my back and the other on my jawline, fingers starting to weave into the roots of my hair. As I pulled away, I gave a piece of his hair a tiny tug teasingly. He shivered the slightest bit, and wrapped his arms tighter around me, crushing me to his chest. I giggled and wrapped my arms more firmly around him, not planning on letting go.<br>"So how do you like California?" I asked him. He shrugged.  
>"It's too warm here." He said simply. I laughed.<br>"I love warmth, but I think I'm going to miss the piles of snow we got in Vermont." I said. He laughed and kissed the top of my head.  
>"Yeah, that will definitely be a setback."<br>"We can always go on a vacation somewhere with snow in the winter." I said. He chuckled and I felt his chest vibrate.  
>"We'll just have to see what happens." He said, letting me free of his vice grip. I smiled and pecked him on the lips before grabbing my laptop to scroll through job listings.<br>"Now it's time for me to find a job…" I murmured, scrolling through want ads. I found a few barista jobs that I sent emails to, some waitressing jobs, and mainly some graphic designer jobs. I didn't want my art degree to go to waste entirely by sitting in an office filing taxes and answering phone calls. But then, once the emails were sent, I considered how Ian and Anthony got their money. They made videos, kept their site running, and created some merch to sell. But I realized they were also taking on a whole lot of work that nobody really thought about. Sure, they didn't have a 9 to 5 job, but they were spending hours editing and filming and planning. They definitely worked hard, but doing what they loved made it even more admirable.  
>Tossing my laptop onto the couch beside me, I picked up the Wii remote and started to play one of my favorite games that I had been leaving untouched. I worked my way back into the story line of <em>Twilight Princess<em>, I felt relaxation begin to seep through my shoulders. For a while I forgot that I was living in a new place with new people, and everything felt normal.  
>But it dawned on me as I fell asleep in Ev's arms… Knowing that you are falling in love with Anthony Padilla and knowing that he's falling for you too is <em>definitely<em> not normal.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I sat in the passenger seat of Ian's car nervously, watching as the hospital bloomed into view out of the streets. I felt bad about not visiting Anthony nearly as much as I should have, and today was the day he was being released. So there Ian and I were, going to go pick him up. We sat in a friendly comfortable silence, listening to the music on the radio that I didn't recognize, which was too heavy metal for my taste, but Ian was bobbing his head up and down slightly, so I just tuned out and stared out the window. I began thinking about Anthony again, and a little spot in my chest started to hum, almost imperceptibly, and I felt a tingle run through my limbs. I'd never felt a physical reaction to someone quite like this before, I'd only felt a burning in my chest when I thought of Ev. But even that has begun to fade, replaced by the everlasting tingle that courses throughout my body when I think of Anthony. Then I kicked myself for feeling that way about Anthony, and refocused those feelings and thoughts back on Ev. But my rebellious mind wandered back to Anthony, and the cycle started all over again.  
>Ian and I stood side by side, waiting in the lobby. I was shifting nervously from foot to foot, a bad habit of mine, starting to become worried. My mind ran through all of the bad things that could have happened; that the hospital experience might have only made things worse. Ian must have noticed my distress, because he guided me over to a chair and clasped my fingers in his, looking earnestly into my eyes.<br>"Eliza, he's going to be okay. Believe me, he's a trooper. He is going to come through that doorway and be that same great guy." He said almost pleadingly, as if he was trying to convince himself also. I forced a smile onto my face, although it probably turned out as more of a grimace.  
>"I know, I just can't help but be worried." I said, looking down. Ian put an arm around my shoulders comfortingly, and I nestled my head under his chin on his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to him breathing, trying to keep my breathing as calm and even as his. The sound of his breathing and his heartbeat calmed me, so it was more startling to hear his heartbeat quicken and hear a catch in his breathing than when he actually shifted underneath me. I raised my head, confused, and looked around.<br>"What's wrong?" I asked, and then I realized I had been sleeping. My eyes rested on Anthony, standing in the doorway to the lobby, and I sat up, fully awake.  
>"Anthony!" I said, feeling myself grin before I could stop myself. He smiled at me as he walked over. I couldn't help but notice a cold glint in his eye when he looked at Ian, who looked somewhat sheepish with his hair shielding his eyes a bit. Firmly telling myself not to overthink the situation, I turned my attention back to Anthony. I reached out and pulled him into a gentle hug, although part of my mind screamed for another kiss. It took all of my self-control to keep my eyes focused on his eyes, and to refrain from letting my gaze drift down to his lips.<br>I pulled away and gave him another grin. He smiled back at me, and removed his arm from around me. The tingle slowed and quieted, but was still there as I watched him greet Ian.  
>"How are you feeling?" Ian queried, looking nervously at Anthony. Anthony just shrugged.<br>"I'm fine, I just want to get home." He said blatantly. I shot Ian a concerned look, and saw that his brow was wrinkled. But he caught my eye and shook his head slightly. We were to let Anthony have his space on this.  
>"Well, we're always here if you want to talk." I murmured, rubbing his arm slightly. He smiled at me, but it was hard to tell if it was forced or genuine.<br>"Well let's get on home." Ian said, leading the way to the door. We followed him, an awkward silence blooming between the three of us. What was on Anthony's mind? I shot him a furtive glance, to find that he had been watching me. I looked away as the emotions dropped from his face, but I could still see them as plain as day. He looked hurt, like he was in pain. It was the look that you saw on someone's face when they had to do something they really didn't want to do. But I resolved to not think too much about it, and I clambered into the back of the blue car. I bit my lip as I ended up staring at the back of Anthony's neck, which I remembered my fingertips innocently brushing when he had kissed me. I wonder if he remembered. I shook myself and stared solidly out of the window for the whole ride, feeling the feelings tumble and boil inside of me. I was even more annoyed to find that, even safe in my own home, the tingle still resided in me. Because I knew Anthony was back and safe, I felt a rush of energy. I could barely keep the obnoxious smile off of my face around Ev, because I knew he was going to suspect something. But I felt the smile drop off of my face as soon as I logged on Facebook. Stone cold, all tingles gone, I read the post over and over again.

_Anthony Padilla is now in a relationship with Sarah Wheeler_


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

I felt numb, although I had no reason to. I was happy with Ev, I was in a very good relationship. But something about those two names joined into something so intimate, so special, I was wishing it was my name instead of Sarah's. But again I shook myself.  
>"Eliza, you stupid bitch!" I whispered angrily at myself. I slammed the computer shut and stormed into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face. Bracing myself with locked arms on the kitchen sink, I had a death stare contest with myself. Red eyes with my mascara starting to swim down my face, I nearly bit through my lip in my anger and tension.<br>"Don't you dare think like that." I told myself, in a deathly low whisper. I imagined myself as a villain, watching as the rebellious me cower in fear. I smiled wryly, slightly amused by the image. But I resumed glaring, because if the rational part of me was the villain, then that left the little rebellious part pining for Anthony to be good.  
>"No, no, no, no, NO!" I yelled, slamming my fists into the mirror corners, my nose inches from touching the mirror. With a loud crash, one of the corners of the mirror shattered into jagged shards, slicing the side of my left hand in several places. Fumbling with my right, feeling the adrenaline pump through my veins at the blood, I turned the water on in the sink and tried to rinse the cuts. I let out a strangled cry as a burning sting erupted in my hand, and Ev was beside me in an instant, wrapping my hand with a bandage.<br>"You're going to need stitches. I'll drive you to the hospital." He murmured as his deft fingers wrapped my hand snugly in a white bandage. I exhaled, letting out a rush of breath I had no idea I was holding in.  
>"Thank you." I said, wiping the smudged mascara from my cheeks hastily. He took my hand gently and looked deep into my eyes, and I had no choice but to look back, entranced by the molten green, a color unlike any other. He pressed a kiss to my lips, which I took in hungrily, letting out a bit of the emotion pent up inside me. Tears spilling out of my eyes, I cradled my injured hand.<br>"It hurts." I whimpered. He wiped my tears with his thumb tenderly, a crooked smile on his face.  
>"I know. Come to the car when you're ready, okay? I'll get your purse."<br>As he left, I picked up a shard of glass, reflecting my brown eye in the shard. I noticed my blood slick on one edge, and a drop fell to the floor. I dropped the shard and put a hand over my mouth to stop the sobs from becoming too loud.  
>Ev had thought I was crying about the cut hurting, that much was obvious. But I wasn't. I was crying because my heart hurt, my head hurt. I hadn't been thinking of Ev when I had been kissing him… I had been thinking of Anthony.<p>

"You shouldn't have any scarring, it was a clean cut. Come back in a week or two and we'll take the stitches out." The doctor said, ushering me out into the corridor. I continued cradling my injured hand grateful that it wasn't really necessary to brew automated lattes. Ev wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked out to the car, the California sun beating down on us. I leaned into him, despite the heat, and sighed. He rubbed my shoulder soothingly.  
>"You'll be fine, it will just take time." He said, mistaking my distraction for worry about my hand. Before I could formulate an answer, my phone rang in my pocket. When I pulled it out to check the caller ID, I groaned before I could stop myself in front of Ev. It was none other than Sarah. I pulled my face together and answered, raising the phone to my ear.<br>"Hello." I said, trying to not let emotion through in my voice.  
>"Hey Eliza! Ohmygosh, you will not guess what happened this morning!" She squealed into the phone.<br>"Really? What happened?" I asked, trying to feign real interest. She giggled on the other line, and while Ev checked his phone I took the opportunity to roll my eyes.  
>"<em>Anthony Padilla<em> asked me out! I feel so happy, I can't stop smiling!" She sqealed, and I could easily imagine her jumping up and down, giddy with excitement.  
><em>Yeah, I can't stop smiling when I replay the kiss in my head<em>, I think with wry amusement. But instead I slap a smile on my face for Ev and try to be as happy for Sarah as possible.  
>"Wow, that's great! All those years of Smoshing must have paid off, huh?" I exclaimed, just the slightest bit of sarcasm going through. Luckily, Ev missed it and Sarah was too involved in her euphoria to notice.<br>"Yeah, it's great! I feel so lucky right now, to think that I'm dating _Anthony Padilla,_ the most handsome, gorgeous, hilarious, and all around perfect guy on earth!" She was spitting the words out at light speed now, and I tuned out while I thought _Yeah, well, he wanted me first… that counts for something, even though I wasn't able to accept his offer._ She fangirled to me a little more as Ev and I started going home, and I was eventually disentangle myself from the conversation. But she was able to get something in that made me wince.  
>"<em>Hey<em>, we should do a double date!" She said, the excitement electrifying her voice. I felt a pang of pain in my chest, to think of seeing Anthony with Sarah while being resigned to Ev, but I managed a peppy "Sure, that would be fun! We can arrange that sometime."  
>"Great, I'll tell Anthony. It was his idea, after all." She said. I was glad that the emotional distraught that those 6 words were able to inflict upon me wasn't visible. I just laughed.<br>"Alright, cool! Well, I'll see you around." I said.  
>"Bye Eliza! Hope we can hang out sometime!"<p>

As soon as I was off the phone, Ev gave me an amused look.  
>"So, what happened? What's the big news?" He said. I shrugged and looked out the window.<br>"It was Sarah, she and Anthony started dating and she was calling to tell me about it." I said nonchalantly. Ev snorted, and I peeked around at him through my hair. He had a smirk on his face, but his brow was slightly wrinkled and he was deep in thought.  
>"I see. Well, I'm happy for him." He eventually said, as he turned the key in the ignition. I bit the inside of my lip, worried by his reaction that was so icy. But again, he had become somewhat cold to any event involving Anthony recently. So I brushed the hair out of my eyes and looked out the window all the way home.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

CHATER 12

As Ev and I pulled into the driveway, I saw a silver car that I didn't recognize in front of Ian and Anthony's house. Fairly sure it was Sarah, I started to hurry inside so as to avoid any possibility. But, as I was having a bad day for my luck, Sarah and Anthony came out of the house at that moment, arm in arm. I couldn't help but watch as Sarah pulled Anthony down for a kiss and his arm wrapped around her waist. But Sarah broke away and saw me before I could leave the scene.  
>"Oh, Eliza!" She called, bouncing off of their porch and skipping through the grass to where I was poised with the key clenched in my palm, just inches from unlocking the door. I acted like I hadn't seen them and dropped my arm, waving a bit with my good hand.<br>"Oh, hey Sarah! What are you doing over here?" I said. _As if I didn't know…_  
>"Anthony and I were just hanging out a bit, playing some games and getting to know each other a little better." Sarah waved Anthony over, and he came hesitantly with cheeks starting to flame up. He must have known that I had been watching their moment; he must have remembered when he had pulled me into a kiss like Sarah had pulled him into one. I remembered Ev standing next to me, and fought inwardly to subdue the fire burning in my cheeks.<br>"Ah, I see. Well, I trust that you had fun." I said. Feeling Ev slip his arm around my waist, I looked away for a second, breaking eye contact with anyone. I saw Ian in the window of his house, with a concerned look on his face. I waved at him and he smiled at me, wiping the crinkles from his brow, but the concerned eyes remained, and I had no explanation as to what he was upset about.  
>"But, Eliza, I think it would be <em>absolutely great<em> if we could arrange a double date! That would be so fun, right? We're all friends here, so it could be like a miniature party!"  
>I nodded enthusiastically, ignoring the guys as they exchanged steely glances as they sized each other up. "I think that would be great, yeah!" I swallowed, trying to stop my throat from drying up because of the lie. But Sarah was not paying attention, and whipped out her phone.<br>"Well, let's set a date now! This Friday, 7 o'clock for dinner, we'll meet at the mall?" She said, tapping away on her phone then looking to us for confirmation.  
>"Sure, that sounds fine." I said, casting a sideways glance at Ev and Anthony. Anthony was staring at his shoes, and Ev still had his arm around my waist and seemed to be staring triumphantly at Anthony.<br>"Alright, it's settled then. I will see you guys then!" Sarah chirruped, grinning. I grinned back, although somewhat half-heartedly, and we bid our farewells and parted, Ev and I finally going inside. I groaned and flopped onto the couch, placing my injured hand on my stomach. I heard Ev puttering around in the kitchen and was just about to doze off when he placed a bag of ice on my hand, making me jump.  
>"Ev, that's hardly necessary." I said, shifting a bit with the new job of balancing the freezing cold package on my hand.<br>"Well, keep it on whether it helps or not, it makes me feel better." Ev said before pressing a warm kiss to my forehead. I sighed and dozed off, and Ev let me rest. But when I slipped into deep dreams of surrealism, I was about to jump up out of my slumber when Anthony appeared through the mist, in which monsters had been prowling.  
>"<em>Eliza, everything is going to be fine. Trust me, I will stay with you.<em>" He said, slipping one hand down to the small of my back and trailing the other one up my neck to my jawline, eventually working his fingers into my hair. I shivered and pressed myself to him, the only normal thing I had seen in my dreams, the only wonderful thing. So I didn't think twice as I let the dream go on, as I let the dream Anthony kiss me and hold me. But something dark and cruel was stirring in the back of my mind, reminding me that what I was falling into was not right. But I pushed it away, relishing the feel of Anthony's lips, even if they weren't really there, pressing into mine hungrily. But when I woke with a start to the darkness of the night and listening to Ev slowly breathe beside me, it was all I could do to be able to get my shoes on and push outside and start running before the hysteria exploded. I was running god knows where, wiping my suddenly runny nose and dashing the army of tears off of my cheeks with the back of my hand.  
>I didn't understand why I was feeling this way, why it made so much sense. But I eventually found a playground and sat down on a swing, staring up at the stars.<br>"Why do I have to choose between them?" I whispered, looking for a sign from the slowly spinning celestial lights. But I got no answer, and I wondered how my tears looked when they reflected the starlight.

I went through the week, doling out lattes and cappuccinos at the coffee shop I had my job at, texting and talking with Ian, spending relationship time with Ev, but I felt hollow the whole time. I managed to perk up my attitude just as Ev had been noticing, asking me if I was sick, thinking we shouldn't go on the date.  
>But I was determined to go, to be happy with Anthony and Sarah, because Sarah was still a friend, even though we've had a rocky past. So I perked up, even though I was dreading spending an evening confined to Ev while watching a very affectionate Sarah with her newfound Anthony. But I decided, for every affectionate measure Sarah and Anthony would have, I would go a little farther with Ev, to prove to myself that I was good with what I was in. So as I applied my makeup Friday night, I decided to add a little more smoke and sexiness than I would normally, wondering if it was possible to make Anthony squirm. So when I came out into the living room where Ev was waiting with the keys, he looked me up and down and whistled softly.<br>"Ms. Eliza, are you indeed _trying_ to drive me crazy?" he purred, pulling me in close to him and nuzzling my neck. I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck, finally starting to remember why I loved him so much. I could feel the fog in my head clear as he pressed kisses to my neck, and when we pulled away I had the chance to look him up and down. The slacks enhanced the leanness of his form, and the classic white shirt was unbuttoned enough at the collar to expose his throat and collarbone seductively. I took a deep breath to settle my ferociously pounding heart and looked into his eyes.  
>"Who's trying to drive <em>who<em> crazy?" I said. He laughed and helped me out to the car, twirling the keys around a finger. We drove to the mall, but I could feel the pit of sadness threatening to make me hollow again. But I kept putting patches on it, building a wall that was impenetrable.  
>When we arrived, I saw that we had beat Anthony and Sarah there. When they arrived, hand in hand, I slipped my arm through Ev's like it had been there the whole time.<br>"Hey!" Sarah said, smiling at us as she and Anthony walked up. I thought I heard Anthony take a sharp subtle breath in, and when I looked at him I caught him in the middle of examining me. We made eye contact for a split second then looked away, embarrassed, and I looked up at Ev. The smile on his face seemed forced to me. _Good, that makes two of us._  
>"So, where do you guys want to eat?" I ventured into the slightly awkward silence. Anthony spoke, the first time I had heard him speak in days in person, and I melted away at the sound of his voice.<br>"Well, I was thinking we should go to a little Italian place. Its family owned and not very big, it's a nice little place."  
>I shrugged, trying desperately to cover up my hopefully not-too-obvious happiness at the sound of his voice. "Italian is good with me." I said. Ev and Sarah nodded, and I realized that since we were relatively new, we didn't know the city as well as Anthony did, because he had grown up here. So Anthony gave Ev and I directions, and we headed back to our cars to drive across the main parkway dividing the main part of the mall from the strip malls surrounding it. Ev chuckled as we got in the car.<br>"What's so funny?" I asked, a little on the defensive side. He grinned.  
>"I never would have believed that Sarah had started dating Anthony until I saw it. And I've seen it. Our social life is a far cry from the one we had in Vermont, eh?" He said. I laughed but sobered as I realized that he was right. I hadn't had very many close friends back in Vermont, and even so, they had all seemed fake. My only close friend had been Sarah, and what happened between us destroyed any trust we had for each other, never to be replaced in the same way. But now, in California, I actually had something of a social life, and it was getting better. I was making friends at the coffee shop I was working at, I was meeting some of Ev's new friends, and of course I was now good friends with Ian. But there was still <em>something<em> evolving between Anthony and I, I just didn't know what it would shape out to be yet.  
>At the restaurant, I was grateful that Sarah didn't seem too intent on PDA. I still made a point of sitting close to Ev and holding his hand under the table. Even if nobody saw, it was reassuring to myself to remember my love for him, even with a very delectable Anthony sitting right across the table. Trying to eat fettuccini in a way other than sloppy was much harder tha I thought it would be, so I ended up cutting the noodles in several places. I heard Anthony chuckle, and I looked up. He was looking at his food, swirling sauce around with a spoon, so I thought he must have been laughing at a joke I had missed. Sarah and Ev were carrying on the majority of the conversation, which I had no problem with because I didn't really feel like talking. So Anthony and I sat at one end of the table, pushing the food around on our plates awkwardly, while Ev and Sarah chattered on about many things, from NASA to the best possible way to eat an acorn. I was extremely confused about where the conversation was going, and was too tired to try to follow it. I excused myself as politely as I could.<br>"I need some fresh air, and I'm not that hungry." I said as an excuse. Ev started to stand.  
>"Well, let me come with you." He said. But Anthony had already stood up and was by my side.<br>"No, you can finish your conversation. I'll go with her, I'm not hungry either. Don't worry, we'll be back in time to pay our share." He said smoothly. Ev hesitated and looked at me for affirmation. I nodded slightly, and he settled back down in his seats. Anthony's eyes flickered at Sarah for a second and he raised his eyebrows pointedly at her. I couldn't tell, but his eyes may have flicked directionally at Ev. Sarah's mouth dropped open into the tiniest o for a split second, but she closed her lips and smiled. Not bothering to think of the possible silent communication going on between them, I left the crowded restaurant and sat on a bench outside, sighing as the fresh air filled my lungs. I could smell aromas of all sorts floating on the autumn air, from Italian herbs to things such as Barbeques, burgers, and even a faint hint of something from a flower-shop… although sandalwood seemed like an unlikely thing to sell in a run-of-the-mill flower shop. Then I realized I was smelling Anthony, who had sat down beside me, and my cheeks started to burn. I wondered if he knew I found the smell of sandalwood extremely addicting and tantalizing… to cover up for the sudden awkwardness, I cleared my throat and turned to him.  
>"So, you have to tell me how you and Sarah got together!" I said, acting like a silly shallow gossiper. He smiled, but was still staring off into the distance.<br>"Well, you already knew that she had been one of my nurses at the hospital… But she took the time to talk with me and we spent quite a bit of time together. I realized I might have been falling for her, so I asked her if she would go on a date with me. Not extremely romantic, though, because we were just having dinner in the hospital cafeteria, since I hadn't been fully released yet." He said, with a smile that could only be described as grim. But it fell and he looked at the ground.  
>"She told me about what happened, you know… with her, Ev and you." He said quietly. I cursed inside, but I just leaned back to look at the stars starting to glimmer in the late evening sky.<br>"Well, I'm not surprised. It did happen, if you were going to ask for some confirmation. We made up… sorta. Things will never be the same." I laughed hollowly. "I guess if that hadn't happened, hell, Ev and I might be married right now, actually. But that whole event just made it harder for our relationship to move forward at that point, I was so afraid that at one wrong word or move he would go back to Sarah. It had me frozen with fear for a few months, unable to kiss him or even cuddle for long periods of time. But the thing I respect most about him is that he stuck with me through it, and was genuinely sorry. Any normal guy would have left me after about a week of this, thinking I was overreacting. But he stayed with me and respected what I was feeling, and was determined to make things right. I think that's what has kept us together, really. He wasn't being normal about it, and I truly appreciate that."  
>I bti my lip. I hadn't intended to say quite so much. But Anthony sat quietly, and you could almost see his brain chewing on my words.<br>"Eliza, I don't think anyone normal would deserve you anyways. What he did was truly noble; I'll give him credit for that." He finally said, leaning back to look at the sky with me and stretching out his legs. We sat in a companionable silence for a few more minutes, but I eventually got up and straightened my skirt, because it had slipped up to reveal a little too much leg.  
>"Well, we better hurry back, to let Sarah and Ev know that we haven't run off with each other or anything." I joked. Anthony laughed, but I thought I saw a little bit of pain resound in his eyes. Before I could react, he ducked his head to scratch his nose and ushered me inside.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

_AN: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in so long... A lot of things have been getting in the way. Well, here is chapter 13, and I am going to reach the end of the story in a few chapters! But here is the second-to-last big event, and I will let you read it now! Tootles!_

CHAPTER 13

When I walked inside, Ev and Sarah were smirking at each other, and when they noticed me they broke eye contact awkwardly. Not bothering to pay attention, I nudged Ev's shoulder with my hip, standing next to him.  
>"Hey, can we pay and go? I'd like to go home, I'm tired." I said.<br>"We already paid, you're good." Sarah chimed in, cheeks a little more pink than usual.  
>"You didn't need to do that." Anthony protested. But Sarah just held a finger to his lips and shook her head, smiling.<br>"No, it's no biggie. You guys can pay next time if it will make you feel better." She said. She waited until Anthony smiled faintly smiled before kissing him. I looked away, half to give them some privacy and half to try to stop the anger burning in the center of my chest, exactly where the humming starts.  
>"Well then, I guess we'll be off." Ev said, pulling his lean form out of the low chair. I nodded and waved at Anthony and Sarah, who had just broken away.<br>"Bye guys, it was fun tonight!" Sarah said. Anthony just nodded, but he was watching me closely. I raised an eyebrow at him so he came over to give me a quick hug.  
>"Listen, if you're feeling sick let Ian and I know, just in case we can help." He said. I laughed and gave him a quick squeeze.<br>"I will. Tell Ian I said hi and give him a hug from me, will you?" I said. He grinned and nodded.  
>"I'm sure he'll be thrilled." Anthony said easily. I smiled before Ev and I left, relieved that the anger that was so unlike me was replaced with a hum, which was normal if not annoying.<p>

I sat back in the passenger seat in the car, stretching my shoulders into the padding and letting the pressure massage out some of the tense kinks. Ev started the car and pulled slowly out of the lot, gaining speed as we drove down the ramp to get onto the highway. He flipped on the radio to my favorite station, and I sighed as the music started to relax parts of me that no deep tissue massage could. I could sense Ev relaxing next to me, and we went home in silence, letting the darkness soak up anything that might want to disrupt it.  
>We arrived home and flipped the lights on, even though they were going to be off soon enough. I tossed my purse onto the foyer table and slipped my flats off, walking barefoot into the kitchen. I pulled out a mug from one of the cupboards and filled it with milk, then placing it in the microwave for about half a minute. I stood, swaying and sleepy, staring at the LED lights counting down until my milk would be warm. At the sound of the beep, I moved like a zombie to pull the mug out and stir in some honey. Then I sat sipping my warm milk and honey, watching Ev tidy up the kitchen and living room a bit.<br>"Eliza, you really should go to bed, you're almost dead." He teased as I sat staring at my empty mug, not knowing what I was supposed to do with it. I nodded vacantly and started to shuffle to our room, and I giggled thinking of how one might compare me to a sleepy toddler. In the room, I pulled off my shirt and frowned at the newfound layer of chub starting to form on my stomach. I pulled the fat around distastefully, and then resolved to look into a fitness center membership in the morning. After setting the reminder on my phone, I pulled on sleep shorts and a tank top. I curled up under the covers and closed my eyes, expecting to drop off immediately. But I didn't for some unknown reason. I lay there miming sleep until a shirtless Ev came in and got under the covers. I mumbled his name sleepily, as if I was still asleep, and stretched out a hand towards his general body. I heard him chuckle and he brought me into his arms. I sighed and nestled myself into the curve of his body, hoping that would give me enough peace to let me sleep. But the discomfort was still there, a presence making sleep impossible. I decided to take a nerdy approach and thought of one of my favorite characters from fiction. I tried to follow in the footsteps of Eragon Shadeslayer and threw all of my conscious thoughts at that little obnoxious piece of my brain, trying to wield my thoughts like swords.  
><em>What is wrong with you?<br>Let me sleep!  
>Why are you keeping me awake?<br>_I hurled these thoughts at the dark little part of myself, demanding an answer. Suddenly I froze, my mind was clear, and I had senses so acute I thought I was dreaming. But it was there, and I was filled with dread.  
>The hum was spreading, getting louder and louder. As I listened, my fingers and toes began tingling, all the places he had touched me. Tingling with a sensation I doubt anybody else could coax out of me.<br>All I could hear was the hum.

I woke up the next morning, but I was anything but rested. Clutching my mug of coffee nervously, I watched the sun rise because I had nothing better to do. I heard Ev stirring in the bedroom, and glanced at the clock. Soon I would be leaving for work, but going too early would mean I would be leaving Ev. I heard his feet hit the floor and the quiet padding sound a sleepy man made when he walked.  
>"Eliza, you still here?" He called. I smiled and rose to see him come around the corner of the hall.<br>"Yes, I'm still here." I said. He came to me and wrapped me in a hug. I pressed my cheek to his chest and felt the humming subside, felt the warmth that Ev gave me return to my limbs. I pecked him on the lips and ruffled his hair a bit to tease him.  
>"So, sleeping beauty, what do you want for breakfast?" I queried. He ducked his head to nuzzle my neck.<br>"Only you." He murmured. I giggled and hugged him closer until he was finished. Then he let me go and shuffled over to the pantry in the kitchen.  
>"I'll just have some cereal, let myself wake up." He said. I smiled at how adorable he was, shirtless and with ruffled up hair, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Then I glanced at the clock again.<br>"Well, I have to go to work now." I said, pulling on my jacket and grabbing my purse. He came over to give me a quick peck on the lips.  
>"Have a nice day- I'll be working from home." He said. I looked at where he normally set up his laptop to do his work and nodded.<br>"I will see you when I get back, then." I said. He pressed his lips to mine and I smiled. But he pulled away a little faster than normal, ushering me out of the door.  
>"I don't want you to be late." He explained. I laughed lightly and thought nothing of it.<br>"Well, goodbye then." I said as I walked out of the door.  
>"Farewell, Miss Eliza." He said. But something in his voice seemed off, as though he meant it, like it was the last time. I shrugged as I thought about it in the car, figuring he was probably still living in some dream. Instead I just sat and listened to the radio, tuning out to the music and the monotonous rhythm of driving.<p>

Fingers tired from peeling plastic cups and coffee packets open all day, I drove home. My mind was also tired of the guys who kept attempting to hit on me at the coffee shop, because warding them off was getting tiresome. I groaned at the uniform I had to wear, a short black pencil skirt with a maroon blouse. A black apron tied around my waist, which apparently accentuated the figure I had. Shaking my head, I glanced down our street as I made the turn, minutes from home. I saw Sarah's car in front of Ian and Anthony's house, and felt a little jealousy begin to blossom in a corner of my mind. Trying to shove it back down, I pulled into the driveway of my house. As I got out, the street lights on nearby main streets flicked on and I noticed how dark it had really gotten with the sun setting so quickly. Humming a tune in my head, I gathered my things from the backseat, and just as I closed the door I stopped myself humming, because I had been humming a Smosh tune.  
>Turning my key in the lock, I entered the house, still chastising myself for humming the Smosh tune featuring Anthony. Dropping my purse and my keys on the little table by the door, I went to the main part of the house with the kitchen, living room and dining room.<br>"Hey Ev, I-" I started to say. But the words stopped in my throat, choking me. By throat and eyes started to burn, tears spilling over of their own accord. I stared at the scene for a few seconds, then finally got the nerve to scream.  
>"Ev!" I screamed, one loud screeching syllable. The spectacle I had been watching stopped, and the only sound I heard was the seemingly loud catches in my breathing. Ev looked up at me, eyes empty of feeling. And next to him, with his hands up her shirt was Sarah, smirking at me. Ev opened his lipstick-covered mouth, and what he said hit me like an avalanche and nearly stopped my breathing.<br>"Eliza, you're home."  
>He sounded so empty, devoid of feeling. All he had felt for me was gone, fallen through because of Sarah. I couldn't even try to give her a death glare right now because of my sobbing. Instead, I turned and fled, slamming through the front door and running god knows where at a break neck pace.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

With the skies so dim and night so near, I knew it was dangerous, but I kept running. Passing corners and faces I didn't recognize through the blur of tears, I let the pounding of my feet carry me through the city I was just getting to know. I stopped in front of a gas station, a lonely street lamp flickering above my head. The fluorescent lights of the gas station seemed so bright suddenly, and I whirled trying to get my bearings. Giving up, I just sat on the street corner and watched the people passing by. I eventually realized that I was not in the best of neighborhoods, and had no way to get home. The sheer magnitude of people walking by, going home from their later shifts was surprising, and made me realize that these people were working hard for a living. Yet some people who were looking better off mistook my distress and tossed me some coins, which lay on the pavement in front of my blistering feet. A little boy even came over and pressed a dollar into my hand, saying "it gets better, I promise," to me. As he walked away, toting his backpack over his shoulder, I wondered if he had lived in the streets at all. Yet, I picked up the coins anyway and looked for a call booth, as it was my only way out of this area. I eventually found one at the corner of an alley near the gas station, and stood there holding the coins and the phone for a bit, figuring out who to call. But I ended up punching in Ian's number, surprised that I remembered it. After the dial tone, it took a few rings for him to pick up.  
>"Hello?"<br>"Ian-" Was all I could get out before my voice cracked and I broke down. I heard him talking to someone else on the other side, but he came back.  
>"Eliza, is this you?"<br>"Yes, Ian, it is. I need help. Can you please help me?" I asked through the hiccups.  
>"Eliza, of course I'll help you. What do you need?" His voice was soft yet determined, holding the hysteria creeping around the edges of my mind at bay.<br>"Look, I don't know where I am and I don't have my phone or anything. I'm near a BP gas station, I've been running for 15 minutes, and I'm at a call booth in an alley. Do you have any idea where I might be?" I asked into the phone. After a pause, I heard a door close and another open.  
>"Yeah, I think I know where you are. Look, just stay there, ok? I'm coming to get you. Call me again if anything happens, alright?" Ian's voice was calm and steady through the phone.<br>"Ok. And Ian?"  
>"Yes Eliza?"<br>"Thank you… so much."  
>"It'll be ok, Eliza. Don't cry. I'll be there soon. I promise."<br>And then I ran out of money, the automatic voice harshly cutting me off from my sanity. So I sat, crouched on the ground near the call box, and waited, wishing Ian would get here faster. I knew I was in trouble, though, when I heard the whistled and catcalls coming from the shadows.  
>"Hey pretty thing, what are you doing out alone on a night like this?"<br>The voice sent shivers running up and down my spine, and I scrambled to my feet and out into the center of the alley, determined to not be cornered by the fence. I searched the shadows for the sources of a voice, and 3 forms loped towards me.  
>"Aw, you scared her! Pretty little thing, she doesn't belong in these parts unattended." The man who was obviously the ringleader stepped up to me, looking me up and down, while his henchmen flanked me. In my head, I cursed how my uniform made me look like I was asking for something, especially in the middle of an alley way all alone.<br>"Well hello, beautiful. It's nice to see something so fine as such a surprise." The voice was slurred with drink, and I wrinkled my nose at the smell of cheap alcohol. The man saw and laughed, stepping closer and trapping my wrist in one of his hands. I took a step back and glanced at the two henchmen wearily, who were inching closer and also swaying slightly with drink. In my distraction, the head man somehow caught both of my wrists and was pressing his body to mine, driving me backwards into the call booth side. Trapped, I squeaked. He snickered at me and pressed even closer, if it was even possible.  
>"There, there, no need to be frightened." He said quietly into my ear. I wriggled and protested, getting louder and louder. But suddenly my wrists were being held by the hands of the henchmen, while the ringleader covered my mouth with one of his hands.<br>"Shh, just don't make a fuss. It'll be fine, you'll see." He said, deathly low, and he started to kiss my neck wetly and sloppily, his other hand suddenly frisking its way up my leg and under my skirt. I started writhing and screaming, but I started choking when his tongue was shoved into my mouth, leaving both hands free to roughly explore my body. But, locked in an immovable position, I could only frantically try to escape to no avail. I panicked even more as I felt him reach for the hardness in his pants, to unzip the zipper, when a sudden bright light whirled into the alley accompanied by the screeching of tires. The henchmen jumped back and I was able to shove the guy away from me. When my eyes adjusted, I saw Ian and Anthony get out of the car that had appeared out of nowhere. As Ian came to comfort me and take me back to the car, Anthony pulled out a gun from his pocket.  
>"Don't worry, it's a fake one from our videos." Ian whispered in my ear when he saw my shocked expression.<br>"That doesn't make it any less dangerous." I whispered shakily back.  
>"Hey, c'mon now! We were just having a good time with her, she was enjoying it!" the ringleader was yelling at Anthony, the drunken slur becoming even more prominent with his aggravation. Anthony was staring them down, though, the gun pointed at their chests.<br>"She's with us, we're taking her home now. I don't think she was enjoying it as much as you thought." He said calmly, as if he wasn't holding a gun in his hand. The man shrugged, and started to wander away, but then turned and called to me as Ian was helping me into the car.  
>"Well, beautiful, if you ever want a good time, you can come find us… We'd each love to have a go with you!" I shuddered and he started laughing with his friends, and they disappeared into the shadows. Ian got into the back of the car with me and Anthony took the wheel. As soon as we were back onto the roads, I burst into tears, sobbing into Ian's chest. He wrapped protective arms around me and kissed the top of my head comfortingly.<br>"Eliza, it's all over. You're safe now, it's ok." He said quietly into my ear. I sniffled and pressed my nose into his chest.  
>"T-Thank you guys for coming to get me." I said. Ian shifted me so I was curled up on his lap like a child, and he was able to comfortably hold me and comfort me.<br>"No problem, I'm glad we were able to help." He said. Anthony, who was tense at the wheel, said "Eliza, we will always be here to help you." I sniffled and, before I knew it, was asleep in Ian's arms on the way home.

I woke to Ian placing me on the sofa, in their house. He noticed that I had woken up.  
>"Hey." He said, smiling at me.<br>"Hey." I said, smiling back at him. Anthony came out of the hallway, with some clothes in his hands.  
>"Oh, good, you're awake. I thought you might want something a little more comfortable." He said, holding out the clothes. Ian took them and handed them to me, and I took them gratefully. Standing, I walked into the bathroom.<br>"I will be right out." I called back to them. Alone in the bathroom, I got a good look at my face in the mirror. My eyeliner and mascara was smudged into a mess, and my hair was sticking up in seventeen different directions. I scrubbed the makeup off of my face and tried to comb down my hair with some water and my fingers. I looked closer at the clothes that Anthony had given me to find a shirt of his and a pair of his sweatpants. Luckily, I was able to tie the sweats tighter around my hips and the shirt hung a little big. But I came back out of the bathroom with my work uniform in a little bundle, grateful for the comfortable clothes to wear. I found Anthony and Ian talking in urgent undertones in the living room, Ian seemed to be bashing down on Anthony for something that he was denying. When they noticed my entrance, Ian broke away from the conversation and came over to me, wrapping his arms around me in a hug.  
>"Feeling better?" He asked. I nodded into his shoulder. He then took me to sit down on the couch.<br>"So, why were you out there anyway? What happened?" he asked, the smile wiped from his face. I felt Anthony sit down on the other side of me, and I leaned back into the couch, trying to keep the tears from spilling over again. I tried to swallow, but the knot in my throat wasn't going away. After a few seconds of looking up at the ceiling with watery eyes, I got something forced past the wall of emotion.  
>"It was Ev. I found him, in the living room… Making out with Sarah."<br>I looked over at Anthony, and his jaw was a hard line. Otherwise, he betrayed no emotion. When I looked over at Ian, he seemed to be staring disbelievingly at Anthony, but looked back to me quickly.  
>"Eliza, he didn't deserve you if he was willing to do something like that." He said firmly. I nodded and looked at my toes peeking out from the sweat pant bottoms, with my legs crossed underneath me. The tears welled up before I could stop them and were dripping, big and fat, into my lap. Ian murmured something in his throat and went to wrap an arm around my shoulders, but Anthony's arm was already there.<br>"Eliza, it's ok. They're both going to regret it later, but you can't let it get to you." He said into my ear, pulling me in to lean against him. I looked up into his eyes.  
>"Why aren't you upset?" I asked, because he was showing little emotion. He shrugged and swallowed.<br>"Sarah and I didn't have a whole lot yet… You and Ev had something going. I'm more devastated for you, trust me. Sometimes I feel like I deserve stuff like that to happen to me."  
>"Aw, don't say that." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him. He seemed a little startled, but hugged me back. I felt the hum inside me come back again, but this time I welcomed it. I let it get louder and louder as I continued hugging him, because now I felt like I could truly love Anthony.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Ian and Anthony had attempted to give me a pillow and blanket so I could sleep on their couch, but I couldn't sleep. I felt too alone, and I didn't like it. So I silently padded into the hallway and stopped outside of Anthony's room. I saw under the door that a light was on inside, so I knocked quietly.  
>"Come in." He said. I opened the door slowly, to find him sitting on his bed playing a game on his DS. He looked up at me and smiled, closing his game.<br>"Couldn't sleep?" he asked. I nodded, standing awkwardly in the doorway.  
>"Well, you could sleep in here with me if you want." He said, after a slightly awkward silence. I looked at him and felt my heart thumping in my chest.<br>"R-Really?" I asked. He nodded and stood, taking my hand and pulling me over to the bed to sit next to him.  
>"Remember that morning, not much more than a month ago, when I told you everything I could?" he said, after taking a deep breath. I nodded and looked into his eyes, so deep and brown.<br>"Well, nothing I've felt for you has changed." He said slowly. I bit my lip and my breath caught.  
>"Everything has changed with me." I whispered. I turned to face him and he took my hands in his.<br>"Are you willing to tell me?" He asked. I nodded and took a deep breath, looking at our intertwined hands. So many explanations were running through my head, I was overwhelmed by all that I was feeling and thinking. When I had a solid answer, I looked back into his eyes.  
>"I remember, I told you that I loved you too, but I couldn't give up Ev." I whispered. His gaze fell and he dropped his chin to look at my hands. I took one of my hands though and lifted his chin, forcing him to look into my eyes.<br>"But now there isn't any Ev here. And even when he was, I was still falling harder and faster for you. So now, I think I can truly and honestly say… I love you."  
>Anthony smiled at me, and I swear my heart stopped from the nervousness of my confession combined with the beauty of his smile. I moved my hand from his chin, tracing down his jaw, to cradle the side of his neck gently.<br>"Eliza, you know I love you too. And I always will." He said. Then he moved in and pressed his lips to mine, softly and sweetly. I pressed back, letting the hum and tingle go crazy in my limbs. When I didn't pull away after a few seconds, Anthony used his hands to circle around my waist and lift me onto his lap, wrapping one arm around me and tangling his fingers in my hair. I took the opportunity to press close to him and brush through his hair with my fingers, wrapping my arms around his neck. He started to kiss more passionately, and then he nudged my mouth open with his tongue.  
>The next few minutes were devoid of detail, lost in a euphoria that only Anthony was capable was giving me… But I regained memory when I was stretched out on top of Anthony with my fingers grasping his hair, and he had one hand resting on the exposed skin of the small of my back my slightly pushed up shirt showed, with his other hand resting on the back of my thigh. I finally pulled away and smiled at him, freeing my fingers from his hair to trace the contours of his face.<br>"Are you still ok with me sleeping with you?" I asked. He smiled as I traced his lips with my fingers.  
>"This makes me want to have you sleep with me every night." He said, reaching up for another kiss. I smiled as I felt his lips on mine again, and just let the time pass, only aware of Anthony. He finally pulled away, and I cuddled into his side sleepily.<br>"Good night, Eliza." He said, kissing the top of my head. I sighed and smiled, even though he couldn't see.  
>"Good night, Anthony." I whispered, before dropping off into a dreamless sleep.<p>

When I awoke the next morning, I felt Anthony playing with my hair, twirling a lock in his fingers. "I shifted to let him know I was awake and opened my eyes, blinking as I looked into his brown ones.  
>"Well hello there." I said. Anthony laughed and hugged me closer to him.<br>"Good morning to you, too." He said. He stretched, and I got up. I walked to the door of his room, grabbing the door-knob, when a thought hit me. I burst out laughing.  
>"Anthony, what will Ian think?"<br>Anthony shrugged and sat up on the bed, grinning foolishly at me.  
>"He can think whatever he wants to think." I smiled and opened the door, walking into the living room to find where I had left my purse on the ground. Ian was standing in the kitchen, watching me with one eyebrow raised. I started blushing, and he smiled.<br>"Good morning Eliza. Sleep well?" He said, teasing me. I narrowed my eyes at him but couldn't help but smile.  
>"As a matter of fact, I did." I said. He laughed and turned back to the cereal, which happened to be Cookie Crisp. After watching him for a second, I muttered under my breath "I'll eat cookies for breakfast because I don't give a fuck!"<br>Ian started laughing and I smiled. He was leaning against the counter, and he waved his arms at me feebly.  
>"I- I can't- breathe!" He gasped through his laughter. I started laughing too.<br>"Don't catch me off guard like that!" Ian scolded me. I grinned and gave him a hug.  
>"I'll try, but that was too funny I just might have to do it again sometime." I teased. He smiled and ate the cereal comically, making me giggle. Anthony came out, rubbing his eyes, and I started blushing again when Ian started wiggling his eyebrows.<br>"So, Anthony, the girl wearing your clothes wasn't enough?" Ian said. I gasped and slapped him lightly upside the head, but he just laughed. Anthony grinned and shrugged, coming around to hug me from behind. I blushed at how suddenly obvious he was being, and changed the subject.  
>"So, I'm hungry. What do you guys have?" I said.<br>"Well, we could always cook Charlie. Nice Guinea Pig bacon." Anthony said.  
>"Oi, you little poofs! Come say that to my face!" Said Ian in his Charlie voice. For about one second I kept a straight face, but then I was nearly falling down with laughter. Anthony held me up, chuckling.<br>"I think Eliza is a little slap happy! Any idea why, Anthony?" Ian said, looking pointedly at me. I sobered instantly and glared at him, making him crack an adorable smile. I smiled back and looked around the kitchen.  
>"But seriously, what do you guys have to eat?" I asked. Ian pulled some bagels out of a cupboard, and I took one and started munching happily. Ian gasped.<br>"You're just going to eat it raw?" He said. I cast a sidelong glance at Anthony, who was trying to keep a straight face.  
>"Erm… Yeah?" I said. Ian shook his head and snatched the bagel out of my hands, popping it into the toaster that was already piping hot.<br>"Hey! I was eating that!" I objected.  
>"Well you can finish it when it's properly prepared. I sighed and reached for another bagel from the bag, but Ian snatched that away too.<br>"Ian!"  
>"Eliza, you are crazy! Bagels should be warm and crispy with cream cheese, not soft and cold and… bleh!"<br>I crossed my arms and glared at Ian, narrowing my eyes. Anthony slid an arm around my waist.  
>"Eliza, just let him do it. He's a stickler about breakfast." He whispered into my ear. He kissed my cheek after I groaned theatrically, and I felt his lips curved in a smile. Ian was smirking at me, so I stuck my tongue out at him and went into the living room. Anthony followed me, laughing quietly.<br>"So… what am I going to do?" I asked him. He knit his brows together.  
>"About what?"<br>"About… this. I'm obviously not with Ev anymore, and I don't have a place to move to. I don't even know how to walk in my own house and settle things." I said, looking out the window. I saw my house, and my throat tightened a bit, because I was wondering is Sarah had spent the night. Anthony saw that I was tense, and came over to put a hand around my shoulders.  
>"We'll figure things out. You can stay here until you move, if you like." He paused. "Eliza, what about us?"<br>"Us?"  
>"Well, I don't think last night was out of nowhere. I don't think you were drunk or under some influence, and neither was i. That meant something; it had some depth of feeling. What does that mean about us?" he asked. I tensed slightly, because Ian was perfectly capable of hearing. But then again, he probably figured it out for himself.<br>"I don't know. I suppose it could be the kick-start to a relationship, but I'm not sure anymore. I just feel so confused."  
>Anthony sighed and pressed his lips to my neck. "Well, I'll still love you, no matter what happens." He whispered. I smiled and turned to give him a hug. He held me tightly, and I realized again how good he smelled.<br>"Eliza, you finally have an acceptable bagel!" Ian crowed as he danced up beside us, completely fine with ruining the moment. I narrowed my eyes at his, and then bent to inspect my food. A golden bagel had regular cream cheese on one half, and strawberry cream cheese on the other. It smelled pretty good, so I took the plate. Ian raised his eyebrows.  
>"What?" I demanded.<br>"Aren't you going to eat it?"  
>"Um…"<br>"Well go ahead! A chef always needs feedback!"  
>I laughed and took a bite of the bagel half with strawberry cream cheese. It was so good I had to stop myself from showing how much I liked it. Ian waited.<br>"It's pretty good, I suppose." I said. I winked at him, and he grinned.  
>"See? That's how you make a real breakfast!" he said. I laughed and sat down at the table, munching on the bagel. Anthony shuffled into the kitchen, looking around. He grabbed a bagel and popped it in the toaster.<br>"I guess I'll have to try a magical bagel as well." He said. Ian laughed and punched him in the arm good naturedly. I finished the first half of the bagel, licking the cream cheese from my fingers, and looked up to see Anthony watching me. I paused mid-lick, and quirked an eyebrow. He just smiled and pulled his bagel out of the toaster. When we were all finished eating, I stood up awkwardly.  
>"Well, I should probably go back home and get this all figured out…" I said, tugging at Anthony's shirt that I was wearing. Anthony stood up, too.<br>"I'll come." He said. Ian suddenly became quiet, watching Anthony carefully.  
>"Hey, Eliza, if you need a place to stay, we're always open." He said, almost like a line that was scripted. Anthony didn't look in his direction, but there was a flash in his eyes that made me think Ian had done something wrong. I shook myself and ignored it, grabbing my purse instead.<br>"Sure, that sounds like a good idea. C'mon, Anthony, let's get this over with." I said as I made my way to the door. He followed me silently, and I didn't look back to see Ian's expression.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

I grasped my keys in my hand and attempted to unlock the door, but my hand was shaking too much. Anthony reached around and held my hand firmly, guiding the key to the lock.  
>"It will be ok, I promise." He murmured in my ear when we heard the click of the lock. I took a deep breath and let Anthony guide my hand to the door knob. We turned it together and opened the door.<br>As soon as I walked in, I smelled bacon cooking. Ev was standing in the kitchen, only wearing his pajama pants, and Sarah stood next to him, one of his shirts hanging on her shoulders like a short nightdress. She was moving the bacon around on the skillet, and Ev had his arms wrapped around her and was murmuring in her ear. She laughed and turned to give him a kiss. I coughed and they jumped, breaking apart. Ev turned red when he saw Anthony and I, but Sarah just sneered at us.  
>"Uh, hey guys." I said. Ev nodded at me, but Sarah's eyes were locked on Anthony, who shifted nervously from foot to foot.<br>"Hey." Ev said. We stood in silence, and I tensed up from the awkwardness.  
>"Look, um… I'm here for my stuff." I said. Ev nodded and turned back to the cooking bacon. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat and walked into the hall leading to our room. Anthony started to follow but was stopped by Sarah who said "Eliza, you don't mind if I speak with Anthony for a minute?" I looked at her and shrugged. She gave me a sinister smile and took Anthony by the arm, pulling him into the living room. I stepped into the bedroom Ev and I had shared and had to work to fight back tears. I grabbed my suitcase, covered with band stickers, and packed away all of my clothes. I then grabbed my big old duffel and stowed away other things, like books and electronics. I finally emptied all my drawers and shelves that I had spread things out on, and zipped up my additional backpack. I looked around, looking for anything left that was mine. I slipped into the bathroom to grab my things there, and noticed the corner of the mirror. It was still broken, and I still had the scar from when I had smashed it… from when I realized that I was dangerously falling for Anthony. Fighting back more tears, I quickly left. As I neared the living room, I heard Sarah talking to Anthony, not even trying to whisper.<br>"You do know that you will have to tell her, right?" She was demanding Anthony.  
>"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." Was his reply. I was about to burst out and demand just <em>what<em> I didn't know, but something stopped me. I had to listen more. Sarah gave a frustrated sigh.  
>"Anthony, keeping it from her is riskier than telling her. You know that even if you were completely honest and innocent when you told her, she might leave you?"<br>"She won't find out, Sarah."  
>sarah paused, and I saw her walk away to the kitchen. I came out of hiding, but acted like I didn't hear anything. I heard Sarah murmur "Won't find out, my ass" but ignored her.<br>"Ev, I'm taking the Xbox, the PS2, and all of my games." I announced. Ev jumped a bit.  
>"You're taking the Xbox and the PS2?" He demanded, whirling to face me. I met his gaze and must've been a bit fiercer that I thought after hearing the exchange of Anthony and Sarah, because he flinched.<br>"Yes, I'm taking the Xbox and PS2, and all of the games that I bought with my money. I brought the Xbox and PS2 into this house, I'm taking them out." I said quietly. Ev nodded and turned back to whatever he was doing. I took five minutes to pack the consoles and games into my duffel, and turned to face Anthony.  
>"I'm ready." I said. He took my suitcase and kissed me on the cheek, leading me out the door. I didn't look back.<p>

Anthony let me sleep in his room, so I just plopped my bags down in there when I got back to their house. I sighed, looking around, then giggled when I saw his pink kitten poster. He had followed me in, and cracked a grin at me when I saw the poster.  
>"That is the most sophisticated room decoration I have ever seen." I said, smiling. Making a goofy seductive face, he leaned over and stroked the kitten.<br>"Oh, isn't it?" He breathed, flicking his tongue out through his teeth. I laughed and gave him a hug which he happily returned. He held me tightly and buried his face in my hair, making me sigh happily. He smelled so good, and I pressed my cheek into his chest. Then I remembered how I would hug Ev like this all the time, and tears threatened to spill over my lashes. I took a shaky breath, which caused Anthony to hold me more firmly. He pressed a kiss to my temple.  
>"Everything's going to be alright, Eliza." He said softly. I nodded, scolding myself for losing my cool like that.<br>"I'm sorry, Anthony." I said softly. He pulled back, cradling my face in his hands.  
>"What on earth would you be sorry for?" He demanded. I nearly faltered under the intense gaze of chocolate brown eyes, but I didn't.<br>"For losing it and running away, making you guys come after me. For having to stay with you guys without warning. I'm sorry for causing you all of this trouble."  
>This time, the tears did spill over my lashes and ran down my cheeks. I choked on a sob, and I raised my hand to brush the tears away. But Anthony just pressed his lips to mine, slipping an arm around my waist and bringing me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled as I felt his thumb wipe the tear from my cheek. He pulled away and kissed my forehead.<br>"I love you, Eliza. I wouldn't trade spending time with you for the world." He whispered, looking into my eyes. The warm brown that had been intense a few moments ago was now warm and comforting, and I just wanted to melt into a puddle right there. I kept my wobbly knees steady, but left the goofy grin on my face because it felt so genuine.  
>"I love you too, Anthony… So much." I whispered back. He smiled and wrapped me close in another hug, tightening his arms around me. Then we let each other go and walked into the living room, where Ian was sitting with his laptop. He raised his eyebrow at us, then looked back at his screen.<br>"Anthony, we're gonna have to work on some videos… The fans are getting a little worried by our inactivity." He said. Anthony winced and went to sit next to Ian.  
>"What do we have as some backups while we work on planning our next filming?" he asked. Ian scrolled through a file on his computer.<br>"Not much, dude. It's all fairly sketchy stuff, as well… not very quality. We have to come up with something, quick." He said. They both stared in silence at the computer, brooding. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before saying "What about something about how you guys are outside of Smosh?"  
>They both looked up at me in shock. "Wait, what?" Ian said.<br>"Well, the fans really love you guys as people, too… I'm sure a lot of them would be happy if you guys just made an impromptu video being yourselves without a script or fancy equipment. Just make a bigger longer 'Ian is Bored.'" I said, looking down at my toes. I felt the color rise to my face, because it wasn't my place to be advising them on their videos. Much to my surprise, Ian leapt to his feet and gave me a bear hug.  
>"That is a great idea, Eliza! Thank you!" He said, nearly knocking me over with his enthusiasm. I laughed and hugged him back.<br>"Glad you think so. Speaking as a fan, seeing you guys as normal people would make lots of people super happy, because you guys _are_ considered celebrities to many people." I said. Ian nodded thoughtfully, as if he were trying to think from the point of view of a fan. Anthony suddenly burst out laughing rom the sofa.  
>"Why are you blushing so much, Eliza?" He said between laughs. I pressed my hands to my cheeks to find them warm.<br>"Agh, I'm embarrassed! Suggesting something for a video to Smosh isn't exactly a piece of cake for a fan…" I muttered. Anthony rose and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.  
>"You're fine, Eliza. You know we love," he started to nuzzle my ear, making me giggle. "<em>love<em> our fans." I smacked him playfully and smiled as Ian coughed uncomfortably.  
>"Well, when should we get started?" Ian asked Anthony. Anthony grabbed a camera from the coffee table and pointed it at him.<br>"How about now?" He said, finger hovering over the record button. Ian grinned and gave him the thumbs up. With the little red light blinking, I tried to sidle away but Anthony fixed me with a stare while Ian started introducing the new video.  
>"Hey guys! So, we've been a little inactive with Smosh… Sorry about that." Ian pulled a face for the camera, and Anthony snorted a bit as he turned the camera back around to face him.<p>

"So we thought we would do a unscripted, barely edited video for our fans, for you guys to wee what we're really like when we don't have a script!" He turned the camera towards me and said "Props to Eliza for coming up with the idea!"  
>I stood there with my hands over my face, wondering how red I had turned by now. "Anthony!" I squeaked, peering at him through my fingers.<br>"What?" He asked, grinning at me.  
>"You don't need to film me!" I protested as he brought the camera close to my face. He laughed and turned the camera back around to look at him.<br>"We'll get her eventually. Let the crazy filming begin!" He said, throwing his arms wide and pretending to drop the camera. I couldn't help it, I laughed and he pointed the camera at me.  
>"Noo!" I said, clapping my hands to my face again, and he just laughed.<br>"This is going to be interesting." Ian grinned as the camera was pointed back at him.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Hey Guys!  
><em>_I am SO SO SO sorry that I haven't uploaded in forever! There has been so much going on plus, not to mention that I've hit a MAJOR writers block in how to tie in the final dramatic scene into the story.  
>SO YES this story should be coming to an end soon, I just need to figure out how to tie all the bits and pieces together. If some of you can figure out this last big part (there is a hint in this mini-chapter) then message me, but DON'T SPOIL IT because I think this is a major plot twist :)<br>Thanks for all the reviews and everything, I'll try to get uploading more regularly! 3_**

CHAPTER 17

Watching Ian and Anthony work their comedy magic, I couldn't stop smiling. Anthony felt the need to film me with my stupid grin plastered on my face, and Ian teased me, making me guffaw in front of the camera. Learning how to push my buttons, they got tears streaming down my face as Anthony tickled the breath out of me on the floor.  
>"Ok, stop, stop!" I gasped, hitting my hand weakly on Anthony's shoulder. When Ian turned the camera off of us, he gave me a peck on the lips. Giving me a hand up while Ian traipsed goofily off into the back yard, I noticed how much he was smiling.<br>"Stop grinning, mister! Now you've made me all red and horrible looking all over the interwebs." I said, wiping the tears off the sides of my face. He pulled me close and brushed his lips along my hairline, sending tingles down my spine.  
>"There is no other girl who can laugh that much and still be perfectly gorgeous." He whispered. Winking at me, he ran out into the back yard and tackled Ian, who had been filming a song about the flowers sticking to his pants. I giggled as I watched them through the window, wrestling and shouting profanities at each other. I wondered how many girls would watch the video and screech and the very Ianthony moment. I leaned against the wall to watch them act like young boys, and I bit my lip. I couldn't help but stare at Anthony's sleek form, and before I knew it, I was blushing again.<br>"Damn, I can't think about this right now." I scolded myself, jumping onto the couch and pulling my laptop onto my lap. Opening facebook, I went directly to Sarah's profile to unfriend her. But several things stopped me in my tracks.  
>Her new profile picture was the first thing I noticed. A dolled up Instagrammed picture of Ev holding her close, and a triumphant smile on her face as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. Already, I felt the blood rush through my ears, and my fingers shook as I scrolled down her page. The relationship status change had gotten so many likes from friends I had had when Ev and I were dating. Tears prickled at my eyes and my throat went dry. As my eyes looked down the page, I became fixated on one status.<br>"_This plan is the best. I get who I want and he gets who he wants. Just a little break up to make us both happy." _Tagged with Anthony.

Slamming the computer shut, I rubbed the tears out of my eyes and tried to calm my heart that was racing unbelievably fast. I didn't need to assume anything too quickly. Hearing Anthony and Ian's voices start to move back towards the house, I quickly slid into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I stared down the drain as I tried to gather the thoughts and suspicions whirling around my brain.  
>"Damn, Eliza. Learn to calm the fuck down." I whispered to myself once I was sure I was under control. Slowly letting myself out of the bathroom, I heard Anthony and Ian giggling at each other in the living room. I peeked around the corner to see them draping viewer-sent bras over each other's heads. Before I knew what I was doing, I walked into their view and said "You guys need anything? Some drinks, a condom? Let me know. Oh, god bless ya!" before whirling around out of sight again. There was a pause, then an eruption of laughter. Allowing myself a smirk of satisfaction, I walked into Anthony's room and sat down on his bed, looking around for nothing in particular. Considering unpacking, I went and sat by one of my bags and unzipped it, pawing through my clothes that were inside. Suddenly, I smiled, pulling a nicely-worn sweatshirt onto my shoulders, cuddling into the sudden warmth it gave me.<br>Zipping up the hoodie, I climbed back onto Anthony's bed and curled up on my side, feeling drowsiness start to weigh down my eyelids. Before I dropped off into sleep, I smiled at how I was wearing a smosh hoodie and falling asleep on Anthony's bed. And maybe, I thought, maybe dreams really do come true.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Dreams.  
>They never truly come true.<p>

I should have seen it coming, but you know, when you're awash with so much bliss… you lose sense of everything. Walls that you had up come down, procedures that helped you think logically no longer matter.  
>Love makes everyone act differently, I suppose. It shows true colors, what people would do for someone. Plans evolve, are enacted… and I sat there, stupidly ignoring all the signs.<p>

When something's wrong, love can make it seem all right. Until it becomes too obvious to ignore.

Let me explain what I mean.

I could go on and on about the months that Anthony and I spent together. I could list out on hundreds of pages each kiss we shared, where it was, and if it was special. They were all special to me. They were special to him, as well.  
>Everything was going perfectly, and I honestly would have never thought that something could stop that. We understood that we were in love, and we had no plans to change that. And it wasn't something that happened during our relationship that inevitably ruined it… it was something that had happened before it.<p>

Anthony became my second part. He was the one that held me when my wounds were still healing from Ev. I can't believe he stayed with me through that, but I guess that was just how much he cared.  
>I did grow scars, eventually, and those will never leave. We both understood that. But something I didn't realize, was in the process of him helping me heal, he grew into me. I never thought that would be a problem, that his blood and tears joined mine. But it only made the betrayal that much worse.<p>

Yeah, you don't understand, do you? Have you put the pieces together yet?  
>It took me forever, and I was staring it smack in the face. I guess I'll have to explain it to you.<p>

I never knew about the dark side to Anthony, and how deep it went. He tried his best to only show me the sunshine. Of course, everyone tries to do that, to an extent. Eventually I started to feel like he was hiding something though. Whenever we talked, throughout my healing process, I could see the guilt flashing in his eyes. At first I thought it was because he was the reason that Ev and I broke up… and I suppose that's true. I just never guessed the depth of that truth.

Everyone slips up, and he did too.

I came home from work, earlier than usual. I didn't expect Anthony to be home, and I knew Ian was going to be there any minute. So I was surprised to hear a voice coming from the editing room.  
>I snuck down the hall, listening to try to figure out if it was Ian. But it wasn't- it was Anthony. He was talking on the phone, when he told me he wasn't going to be home. With my guard up, I began to listen to the conversation.<p>

"Listen, that was a risk you had to take. I never guaranteed it would work out on the long term between you. Hell, I never said it was guaranteed to work long enough to get his feelings for her to fade. Shut up, I'm talking!"

I jumped at the sudden severity in his voice, an aspect that only came out under great stress.

"Look, what happened with you and Ev happened, and I'm sorry it didn't work out like you had hoped, but you should have known this when we made that pact.  
>… Sarah, you're being ridiculous. Just because Ev broke up with you doesn't mean that he's going to go back to Eliza. Eliza is mine now, and nothing is going to change that. She's not going to go back to him, even if he wanted her. Neither of them know what happened, so they have no reason to get back together. They hurt each other too much. Now bye."<p>

I choked, and covered my mouth with my hand. That was when it all made sense. I heard him slam his phone angrily onto the table and furiously pound on his keyboard. While I was focused on keeping the tears from spilling over my lashes, he opened the door and saw me there, leaning against the wall.

"E-Eliza!" He stuttered. "How long have you been home?"  
>I looked at him, the beautiful man I loved, the second one to betray me, and the tears started to flow.<br>"Long enough to understand." I whispered. Then I was flying back down the hall, wrenching from his grasp when he tried to stop me. I dodged Ian, who was tossing his keys onto the counter, and heard Anthony barrel into him.  
>"Whoa! Wh- What?" Ian exclaimed. Ian grabbed onto my wrist, and despite my best struggles, he didn't let go. So I stretched as far away as I could, and stared away, feeling the tears fall.<br>"Anthony, Eliza, what the hell is going on here?" Ian yelled.  
>"Eliza! Let me explain!" Anthony shouted at me. I heard Ian shove him away.<br>"Dammit, Anthony, what are you talking about?" Ian demanded. When Anthony didn't respond, he took a moment to analyze us.  
>"You told her, didn't you? What the fuck, man? How else would you expect her to react?"<br>"I didn't tell her! I don't know- she heard me and misunderstood!"  
>"So what, now you're going to lie to her?"<br>"Of course not!"  
>"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK UP!"<br>Surprised by my sudden outburst, the two stopped and gaped at me. I felt myself trembling, and clenched my hands into fists, willing the shakes to stop.  
>"Anthony. Padilla." My words were forced and low, aggression replacing my instinct to run from the situation. "You better explain this to me. Everything. And you can't leave anything for Ian to say. If you do that, it's over."<br>Ian winced, looking between us in a half-mediating pose, but when I shot him a look he sighed and took a step back. I directed my gaze back to Anthony, who was focusing intently on the pattern of the floor.  
>"It… It was a plan. Between Sarah and I." Anthony eventually muttered.<br>"For what purpose?" I demanded.  
>"It's complicated, look it doesn't matter-"<br>"It does matter, Anthony. Spit it out."  
>"The plan was to split up you and Ev, alright?!"<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

AN: _Sorry guys short chapter weee_

I'm not sure I was expecting. I was probably hoping that I had overreacted to something that wasn't a big deal. But even though I felt… Horrified, astonished, and everything like that, I felt like I knew this was coming. That little premonition, the feeling that something was fishy about how perfectly everything turned out, it seemed to be right after all. I should have known…  
>It was all too good to be true.<p>

I felt Ian and Anthony's eyes on me as I took a half step back, most of my energy focused on not crying.  
>"Why would you try to do that?" I whispered, already knowing the answer. Anthony groaned, obligated to explain but obviously not wanting to.<br>"Because I wanted you and Sarah wanted Ev. We noticed that both you and Ev were divided, so we decided to team up and… We took advantage of it, and… Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Eliza. Ev just broke up with Sarah, and she's freaking out about it, but I didn't think it would come between us."  
>My jaw dropped. "You didn't think it would come between us? Anthony, seeing Ev with Sarah hurt like hell, and you think that knowing YOU'RE responsible won't make a difference?" Anthony winced, and Ian let out a short breath, watching us both carefully.<br>"Look, I don't know what you were thinking, or how truly sincere you are, or did, feel. But was ruining my happiness really worth it to you? Were you so lost in your own greed? I don't understand why you, or Sarah for that matter, would think everything would be able to work out after something so harsh like that!" I was rambling, and I took a deep breath, trying to recollect my thoughts. Thankfully, Anthony stayed silent. But he did move to me, letting his hands hover hesitantly over my shoulders. That's when I realized he was afraid. He was afraid of what I was going to say, and he didn't want to lose me.  
>"Ian, could you leave us alone for a second?" I asked. Ian muttered a confirmation and disappeared into the hall, and I heard the door to his room close. I looked up at Anthony, and was surprised to see an expression of utter distress on his face.<br>"Anthony, this is when I could be telling you that it's all ok, but I can't." I said quietly. He wasn't meeting my eyes, so I placed a hand on his cheek.  
>"Please look at me." I whispered.<br>Slowly, his eyes traveled up my face to look into my eyes. I sighed and stroked his cheekbone with my thumb.  
>"I'm sorry, Eliza. I really am." Anthony whispered, pulling me into a close hug. I felt him bury his face in my hair, and it took all of my restraint to not hug him back and soothe him. I wasn't going to go down that road.<br>"I know you are, Anthony, but that doesn't change what you did." I said, accidentally letting the tears spill over. Anthony heard my sniffs and squeezed me tighter, just increasing the flow.  
>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He kept repeating into my hair.<p> 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

_Dear Anthony,  
>I'm sorry. About everything. I really am, but I had to leave. Trust me when I say I'm still in love with you, but I just can't trust you anymore. I'm not running back to Ev, I'm not pursuing Sarah, I'm just leaving. Even I don't know where I'm going to end up, or what I'll do.<br>Please don't try to find me again. But don't forget me, either. Because I still might show up at VidCon one year, just to see you again. This is hard enough, even though it is something I need to do.  
>Have a nice life for me, however you decide to live it.<br>Love, Eliza._

I printed two copies of that letter, and had it memorized.

I remembered exactly what I wrote when I saw them both accepting awards.

I burned the letter after seeing the news, escalating all over youtube.

_ Anthony Padilla, Part of the comedy duo "Smosh," committed suicide shortly after VidCon._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Omg guys I'm sorry this ending was such crap I just felt like I needed to end it as quickly as I could, because I had lost the drive to write is (As shown by how long it took me to finish it)<strong>  
><strong>Thank you all for the incredible support and whatnot, even when I wasn't updating! :)<strong>


	21. Announcement!

Hey guys! Wow it's been so long since I looked back at fanfiction. Okay I'm not sure how many of you will see this or pay attention or w/e, but! I have a question! Do any of you want an epilogue? I have one in the works I started a while ago and never quite got the drive to finishing, but if you guys would like me to finish it for you then I can do that :) lemme know either through reviews or PM! 


End file.
